Thank you, Spider-Man! Take it off! Hey! Sorry I’m late. Happy. – You look nice.
– Thank you. – New dress?
– Yes, it is. How’d you know? I have a detailed inventory of all your garments
and undergarments. Just part of my job. What did you say your name was? Creepy? Happy. Creepy’s my brother. But he’s also a big fan of yours. Activating “Instant Kill”. Everywhere I go, I see his face. Or helmet. Oh my gosh! It’s him! It’s Toasty Stark! What have I done?! I’m sorry Mr Stark! I don’t want you to go! I am going on vacation. Whoa! Peter Parker here to pick up a passport,
a package, a parcel and a peck of pickled peppers for Pepper Potts please. Pick up for Peter Pecker from Parker Potts –
a package, a passport, a parcel and a pickled pepper peck. Priority! You look really pretty. New dress? What, do you like have an inventory
of all my dresses? Do you get how creepy that sounds? What is that, a new shirt? Because I don’t recognise it
from my Peter Parker eveningwear database. I think MJ really likes me. She asked about my shirt. I love shirts. That’s why I’m wearing two. So nice to finally meet you, Spi-der-Man. We met at Mr Stark’s funeral. I met a lot of people that day! Is my friend gonna be OK? Oh, sure. He’s just knocked out. Oh thank God. If I wanted to kill him I’d have shot him with this! Wait a second. This one says “non-lethal”. Oooooooh damn. Well, looks like it’s a good thing I turned up. Cos it seems you’re in need of a new best friend. We have a job to do. And you’re coming with us. No ifs, ands or buts! Hold onto your buts! There’s gotta be someone else you can use. What about Thor? Infiltrating another franchise. Captain Marvel? Over in two seconds. – Hulk?
– I fired his ass! – Captain America?
– Too old. – Dr. Strange?
– Too weird! – Iron man!
– Dude! Oh yeah he’s dead. Um… Black Wid– uh- Black Panther! No cats! – Superman?
– Wrong studio. The local authorities and first response teams? You know – the people who actually
get paid to do this stuff. Local authorities? Hill! Get a load of this kid! That’s really cute, Peter. I just want to give him a big hug! This is Mr Beck. Mysterio. We’re not on second-name basis yet. I create– I mean I– I fight giant elemental monsters. So far we’ve had Earth… I’m only hitting dirt! That’s what we’re aiming for, Hill! …Water… …and Fire. Well at least we know what’s coming next: – Heart.
– What? And when their powers combine– This isn’t Captain Planet kid. The next one’s gonna be Wind. And it’s gonna take the both of us to break it. Not a problem. I can break wind in my sleep. MJ, I… Am Spider-Man? W-w-what? That’s crazy! W-w-why would you even think that? Well, you sound exactly like him. Whatever city you’re visiting,
he also happens to be in town. Your Aunt organises his charity work. Your last Halloween costume was
a little too convincing, especially when you webbed up that prowler. But today I’d say it’s mainly the pants. It’s not what you think! We did a swap! A pants swap! It’s a thing guys do sometimes! You’ll see! Next time you see Spider-Man, he’ll be wearing my pants! You see, MJ? I told you sooooo! Gee, I wonder where my friend
Peter Parker is right now. Spider-Man! Oh no. You gotta help me, please! I’m fighting a massive molten monster! Oh, I see! You achieve Avenger status and now you only do
the big “commercial” stuff! Well just let me burn to a crisp, then! Don’t put yourself out trying to put me out! Don’t worry, ma’am. Mysterio… puts people first. Oh man, that Mysterio is so mysterious. I literally have no idea who he is
and it’s so sexy. Unbelievable! Who is that guy? It’s like Dr. Strange got his head stuck in a fishbowl. He’s no Spider-Man. What is it with you and Spider-man? You know it’s just Peter in a suit, right? I told you – we swapped pants! Don’t worry, bestie! I got your back. Aw, great! How am I gonna explain this to them
when they wake up? What do you mean, “wake up”? Hey MJ, check it out – I’m on the web! Just ask them to subscribe, Peter. I told you – I’m not Spider-Man. Of course not. But, uh, this person I’ve never met before is right. Please subscribe, if you haven’t already. Rita and Joe would really appreciate it. They may be far from your home but they’re not far from your help. Nice work, Peter. I’m not Peter Benjamin Parker! [PETER PARKER]
Man, I’m so lucky that every single person in my grade
got dusted for five years just like I did, resulting in maximum continuity. [MJ]
Not everyone. Billy didn’t get dusted. [PETER PARKER]
Billy didn’t get dusted? Why is he still in our class? [MJ]
He got bad grades. They kept him down. [PETER PARKER]
Well I guess that explains why he’s two feet taller,
has a full beard and three kids.