r/maliciouscompliance | “Write a Paper in REAL English? Okay…”

r/maliciouscompliance | “Write a Paper in REAL English? Okay…”


Learned real quick about malicious compliance
while doing high end construction OCS
Years ago, I was doing construction for a casino, in the restaurant portion, while another
company was working on the hotel. The genera contractor was notorious for being a dick,
and insisted no extra work was to be done without prior written authorization and approval
by the owners and architect. Basically follow the plans exactly. This happens time to time, and usually they
find little mistakes and submit an update and approve the added expense. Not this time. 10 floors were built exactly per plan. The
top 2 were luxury suites. Marble floor to ceiling in the bathrooms. Really expensive
stuff. Towards the end of the job, they’re walking
off the suites, probably 95% of everything is done. “Where’s the light switch in
the bathroom?” Head electrician just smiles “none in the
plans sir, we followed the plans to the letter, just like you said. No lights, no switches.” We could hear screaming several floors down.
They ended up having to rip out marble in every bathroom to run pipe for wire and all
the lights and switched, but didn’t lift a finger until they were guaranteed in writing
they would be paid for the extra work. You want me to see the doctor?
OCS As a teen, I worked under the golden arches
of McD. I was treated like crap on the daily, always catching the crap jobs and getting
rota’d at the last minute. It was a saturday night and I got off my shift
and went to a house party. We drank and drank and drank like teenagers do (British teenagers),
and come Sunday morning I was hanging. 9am, as I’m heading to the bus stop, my phone rings. My boss kicking off that I’m not in work.
He’d altered the rota earlier in the week, and I hadn’t noticed. Me: “I’m too ill to be in, I’ve been throwing
up” Boss: “That’s funny, because the manager from
the next town over just saw you at the bus station.” Me: “Seriously, I am genuinely ill. I should
be ok tomorrow” Boss: “No, you need to go to the doctor and
get the all clear to come into work” Well… Ok then. This is the UK, doctors appointments are free,
so I book one the next day. I tell the doctor the problem (I got drunk on Fosters and threw
up) and asked him for a note declaring me fit for work. The doc explains that this is not an NHS covered
thing outside of mental health, and as my employer requested it, it would be a chargeable
item from the practice. He asks who my employer is, and suggests I check that they really
require this. I call my boss from the doc’s office. Me: “The doc says the certification is
a chargeable thing” Boss: “I don’t care, either get certified
to return, or don’t come back” The doc hears and gets to work putting a certification
letter together, tells me not to worry about the cost this time. He prints it and pops
it in an envelope addressed to my boss and sends me on my way. I head in for my shift after lunch and hand
the envelope to my boss. Five minutes later he’s screaming
down the phone. Turns out the doc had invoiced the franchise
for the cost of the service, somewhere in the region of £200. You want me to refill your drink? Fine.
OCS I must’ve been 8 or 9 when this happened
but I think this story fits here. I went out to eat with my family at a chain
restaurant that had one of those Coca Cola machines with a touch screen with options
for whatever you want to drink. As we were leaving my dad asked me to refill his drink.
I protested, of course, since I just wanted to leave but instead he made
me wait in line while everyone else went to the car. He told me he wanted coke but when
I selected coke on the menu, there were at least 8 different types. Since all
he said was he wanted coke, I decided to give him every single flavor of it mixed together. I contained my smile as I calmly handed him
the drink and he sipped it only briefly before nearly spitting
it out. “What IS this?” Me: Coca Cola. But you didn’t tell me what
kind so I got you all of them

100 thoughts on “r/maliciouscompliance | “Write a Paper in REAL English? Okay…”

  1. We used to have a buffet that my family went to often. I think every kid in our family has mixed their soda like that. A little bit of this, a little of that, a lot of that one though! lol It suddenly closed last spring, overnight. Not even the employees knew it was coming. They showed up for work only there wasn't any work. And no one has said a word.

  2. Tis not just you who mixes drinks. My favorite combinations are
    1) mountain dew + (either) barqs root beer or a&w root beer
    B) vanilla barqs root beer + orange fanta

  3. I was the same way with sodas.
    I found out one day at the theatre how to mix specific soda to make it taste like that cherry medication stuff they give you when you become sick… and promptly made a note not to mix them again.

  4. LOL the soda mix? , when i was a kid some many decades ago, it was called a "Suicide" my fave mix of that was coke, sprite, orange and root beer. it was tasty! now days tho. I've not drank soda in over 10 yrs.. it's bad for humans and as my dad was a diabetic? felt it best to not push my luck. meh..getting old sucks canal water. πŸ˜€ cheers!

    LOL i see many who also drank a "suicide" HUGS to y'all!

  5. It depends on the thickness of the marble and mounting technique, sometimes it only takes popping it off the wall and laying it down. other times a full panel has to be broken up and replaced. as for the mixing of drinks thing i do it all the time and get weird looks from certain people. its called a suicide when you mix more than two drinks together. the only thing i dont put in mine is the diet stuff cause im allergic to aspartame. Also i did a comparative style paper on three authors and took 6 pages to write it, her min was 4 and she asked for us to do two authors but gave me permission to do three, im guessing she wanted to see what i was gonna do with that paper, she walked by me in the library one day while i was reading the whole collection of the canterbury tales and was shocked….. little did i know that was our next class assignment and she was going to call me out for reading the whole thing. She only asked us to read a portion of what we were compairing and my nerdy self read three complete works from three authors. Shakespear, milton, and Chaucer were my three to compair :D. I got an A on that paper and she was very vocal in praise to the point that i was trying to sink into the floor unde rmy desk…..

  6. oh my god you do NOT want to deal with reading old English.
    We used to pronounce things way different like A E I O U you'd have a hard time bending your mouth around it.
    And there are loads of words that have dropped out completely.
    Syntax and form have taken a hit to.
    Oh .. and spelling is regional πŸ™‚
    Without a working knowledge of the language to begin with reading it and making since of it is near crazy level hard.

  7. I had a friend that would mix almost all sodas when she wanted a drink from the gas station and that's when I learned what 'suicide' drink was x3

  8. With those cool machines im a fan of strawberry lemonade mixed with sprite cuts down on sweet to make it quite refreshing I'm curious to hear others combos.

  9. The first kid just sounds like a willfully ignorant spoiled brat who's used to getting away with anything because daddy is the principal. Am I supposed to applaud them for intentionally being bad at their native language and screwing with the only teacher in the school who wanted them to actually learn something? If they were my kid they'd be in a massive amount of trouble.

  10. I like Fanta mixed with Sprite… I'm the newer machines I will make it half and half strawberry Sprite with regular Sprite… It's yummy and not over powering

  11. I remember as a kid those pop vending machines, that dispenses a paper cup before filling it with your chosen flavour of pop. I once was told (by another kid) about pushing all the buttons (which I later tried) to get a drink made up of all the flavours. I remember being told that this drink was called a "swamp", since it was a mix of all the pops.

  12. One of the complaints the critics had about Kevin Costner movie Robin Hood was that it was not spoken in the English of the time. Another person responded if it was not even the damn Brits would understand it.

  13. That kid who got the soda should have been beat with a belt. Than made to go back in and got another one. Lazy fu*king kid.

  14. I'm thinking that English teacher gave the paper the lowest possible grade that could still be justified as "fair". Probably also had access to better references than the kid did and probably docked every possible point for every possible grammar or vocabulary error.

  15. It's possible to reuse the marble… if you don't break it when you remove it… as there is a high possibility of breaking it if you remove it… you can write it all off.

  16. with the age of the internet i wonder what that report in "ENGLISH" was it's real grade from the correct teacher πŸ˜€

  17. REAL English – I have made a stab at looking over "Beowulf" in the original old English. Mostly I just wanted to see how many old English words we still use today, and how much I could recognize. It was an interesting experience, and if you are curious about it, I would recommend looking up one of the texts available that has the old English and the modern English equivalent next to it. I can read middle English, with some difficulty, but can still make sense of it. Having grown up with the King James Bible, Shakespeare is not difficult for me, though some of the words used have changed meaning over the centuries. No, I'm no expert.

  18. The English teacher didn't have to waste so much energy entertaining the little snotball. From how he wrote his story, it would have been quite easy to make sure that paper got a failing grade. Too long, inappropriate punctuation, the list goes on. My comp professor pulled five points off for each word over the limit, for instance. >:)

  19. The last one, I've mixed drinks too but with the machine op was talking about there are flavors you don't want mixed, especially if you're not expecting it. Vanilla, orange, raspberry, cherry, and other.

  20. That first guy was an ass. I had a teacher just like that and she was the best thing that happened to me because I learnt to apply myself in all my subjects not just the ones I liked. Also as someone who works in a school that goes from K-12 it seems very very weird that the junior school principal is teaching at all yet alone teaching in senior school

  21. The good news is that the English teacher couldn't complain about the spellings. In some of Chaucer's work, some words had two or three different spellings.

  22. The "Coke" story should be under "Entitled Brat". Dad takes them out for a meal and brat kid doesn't feel kike taking the small amount of time to do his dad a simple favor. Next time kid is getting a sandwich at home while the rest eat out.

  23. Just to note, here in germany mixing fanta and coke is a normal thing. We call it Cola-Mix or Spezi and you can buy it in stores.

  24. Dude I totally did that thing with the sodas XD we called it a suicide drink. It was strangely good in my memory…I'll have to go back and try it one of these days to see if it's as good as memory serves πŸ˜‰

  25. A couple things about the english paper. 1. When does an elementary principle have any authority in high school? 2. Proper english is still english. 3. If it's not forbidden it's pretty much allowed.

  26. Mixing all the fountain pops is known as swamp water. At least in Ontario Canada when I was growing up. These days when I want to mix I just mix coke (or pepsi) with root beer, or root beer and Dr. Pepper. Sprite with a small amount of fruitopia is decent.

  27. Why are you hounding the McDonald's Boss? The entitled Brat is saying he threw up which could mean he has a stomach bug, so of course the boss is gonna want the official medical all clear before he let's him WORK WITH FOOD!!!!

  28. I'd mix my drink all the time as a kid. It honestly tasted fine. (Just a sugary carbonated juice at that point.) However my parents always thought it was gross, and I got a kick out of seeing them cringe when I did it.

  29. Honestly I'm siding with the teacher in the first story. Sure she was kind of an ass about it calling him out in front of the whole class, but she WAS trying to make him apply himself and write the best essay he could, whereas he was just half-assing his homework because he didn't feel challenged. Then he did disrespect her and make a mockery of her by pretending to not know what she meant, and then both principals undermined her authority in front of a student. Smh

  30. Marble is very expensive hundreds to thousands of dollars per square foot. I had a company that paid 25k per square foot for imported Italian marble.

  31. yuck mixing all drink disgusting
    but hey if u enjoy ur graveyard drink go-ahead
    (my mom said some kids from her school when she went did that and called it a graveyard drink)0

  32. gotta applaud the guy for having the balls to actually put the painstaking work into writing an entire report in old english

  33. I like coke as it is less sweet than pepsi… and there are just 3 kinds i know… that would be zero, light and regular, never mix regular with anything else if you don't want a stomachache, if people want zero and light that are super sweet they are better off just drinking pepsi.

  34. Ugh, I always hated english classes, and other similiar ones. So much of the work is graded subjectively solely on the teachers discretion. Like to make up a credit in high school I took a semester class on creative writing. It was either that or poetry. Only the teacher only liked certain kinds of stories, in certain genres and anyone that dared write anything out of those narrow confines got an automatic fail, no matter how good or bad their writing was. Basically used the class as a way to get free entertainment while feeling powerful and in charge.

  35. The mixing of all the different flavored drinks…yeah, I still do it on occasion

    I’ve even heard a name for it

  36. If I was that English teacher and the student handed in a paper written in Middle English, I would have been saying "I am so proud of you" through tears of laughter.
    That's applying yourself.

  37. My son does that as well mixes all different types cokes together, but he goes further he also adds doctor peeper, and when I was young I used to only mix the different sodas but also add eggs, mayonnaise, ketchup, and any other spice I could off then pop it in the oven and eat it.

  38. I used to mix all the sodas as well. We call it "Swamp Water" here. Although, one time when I did it as a small child, by the time I walked back to the table, I had forgotten that is what I had done, and only remembered the last soda I put in… so I spent years thinking that Dr Pepper was the nastiest soda in the world. Ironically, it is my favourite now. I decided to give it another chance, and that brought the memory of the swamp water back to me. lol

  39. First kid just sounds like a spoiled punk whose teachers never asked anything of because who his dad is. The second one teacher had any expectations of him they decided they would be petty about it.

  40. Where I'm from mixing more then 2 kinds of pop (typically from a pop fountain thing) was called swap water. Due to the fact that it was almost ALWAYS black and full of things you didnt wanna know lol

  41. Sorry, the first story, the kid is a idiot. Difficult Teacher is trying to educate a self-proclaimed smart butt, his Principal father is unconcerned about his ability to write English, and through it all, she did get him to put some effort into his assignment. Embarrassed because she told him she thought he could better in front of the whole class? Give me a break.

  42. Both my Wife and I think that "The Canterbury Tales" report written in Chaucerian English is an absolute gem! Well done indeed!

  43. You wouldnt have to destroy the marble but it is very fragile and easily scratched and or cracked. Would take a very long time to uninstall it safely

  44. I had a paper on A Modest Proposal by Swift. Needed like a 3-4 page paper. It ended up being about 5 pages. The teacher told me she was confused that the first 4 pages didn't mention Swift or his work and was basically a history of england/ireland for the previous 100ish years. The last page was linking the historical events and people to Swifts work. I think I got an A.

  45. When I was young, I used to do this thing where I would mix all the sodas available at gathers. However, our family doesn't do Coke, Fanta, Diet Coke etc.

  46. As for the mixed drink, when I was a kid my friends and I would routinely mix the kinds of drink at the movie theater. We called it a "Graveyard". I liked it and had not thought about it in years.

  47. That's not malicious compliance for the first one. Student was upset that she expected a lot from him. He was okay with his dad showing him special treatment in science class but when another teacher wants him to try, dude becomes a little sick? Yea, the student had nothing to complain about

  48. In the '60s, when I was in school, we would often have what were called, at that time, Zombies, which were Coca Cola, 7-Up and a popular orange soda (I believe it was Orange Crush). They were quite popular, and nearly everyone had them. I sometime worked concessions at school dances (I rarely danced at that time), and they were the most ordered drinks served.

  49. For the marble, it's often very big tiles that are used, they probably just scrapped off the joint (many products to help it exist that won't deteriorate the tiles) before then getting them off and making holes in the walls to pass the cables and scrubbing the joint off of the back of the tiles is extremely long, it must have cost so much extra!

  50. The Coke story … we use to have a drink at Boy Scout Camp that you got in the camp store called a "Graveyard", it was all the fountain sodas mixed in one cup, it was named after the soda that over flowed into the tray & bucket

  51. Marble can be reused. We're just being very wasteful as a society and most of the time, we don't bother making any attempt to reuse things. The footpath in front of my house is made of old discarded marble and it's absolutely beautiful.

  52. For the proper English, I did something very similar.
    My teacher is utterly incompetent. She's somehow a doctor, yet she barely comprehends what we are going over. I have had incredible English teachers in the past, so I'm a little spoiled, really.
    She makes students cry, rants that we're all challenging her authority (Even if we haven't said a word to her, or asked a harmless question about school rules), and, what makes me angriest, talks about other students to specific students (me, specifically.)
    We were reading Beowulf, and hearing her read it was like someone blasting an airhorn in my ears nonstop- Wait, I'd prefer that to hearing her drawling southern accent while she attempts to pronounce words not familiar to her. In fact, there was a passage that talked about 'windy cliffs', and, being completely serious, she decided that the word must've been 'Wind-y', as in 'to wind something', in an adjective form. Her justification was that it was old English (No, it was a translation in Modern English, of old English.) And cliffs can't be windy. Keep in mind, this woman has a doctorate in her field.
    She seems barely to be literate. She also doesn't really understand some of the materials we go over. She has said incredibly offensive things about other religions, and often berated students who weren't well versed enough in the Bible as to understand the references to biblical stories in Beowulf.
    So, when it was time to re-write the ending of Beowulf, or add onto the story (This was our summative assignment over Beowulf), I knew what I was going to do.
    If you can't tell, I'm a long winded person. This teacher wanted us to write 5 paragraphs, max, though she said there wouldn't really be any limit. We had to fit five major plot points into the story coming from the cycle of a legendary hero. I decided to write mine in prose, (When I explained this, she didn't know what prose was.) with complex English and many, many plot points. In all, it totaled around 8 pages, with two rows of poetry per page, in relatively small font.
    I would've written it completely in Old English, but I procrastinated and ended up writing the whole essay an hour before it was due. I got a 100, despite the look of utter hatred on her face when I handed in the stack of papers completely filled with poetry.

  53. The mixed cola one… lol.
    At my school when I first started there… The 5th years used to steal food from the first years. (common thing). So I got revenge on them and made a name for myself.
    I took my money to school and bought a plate of chips, I poured Vinegar on my plate first and then applied around 65 grams of salt. I then emptied the excess salt off my plate. I purchased a seperate burger and side of chips to eat. The 5th years came over as normal, stole a handfull of chips off my plate and shoved them in their mouth. Then my revenge kicked in. Vomiting and screaming about the chips. The problem was that they could do nothing about it, because if they admitted to stealing my chips… They would get suspended and they could not touch me for it. But I gained a ton of respect for getting one over on them and no-one ever tried to take my food ever again.
    I got known as the person never to mess with at school because my revenge was sweet and hit you when you least expected it.

  54. I used to mix but now I just mix Coke Fanta Orange and Lemonade aka Mezzo Mix. My dad still goes for the Coke Pepsi Dr Pepper and Root Beer.

  55. I've gotten a taste for Dr. Pepper and Orange Crush. I also seem to be the only one of my immediate circle who likes Vanilla Coke. To each their own…

  56. I have worked in construction and know dealing with marble and other heavy materials like that is both expensive and time consuming. So maybe that boss should have thought first. πŸ™‚

  57. BK worker here. I have been asked to mix everything together more than once of all sodas. Never got a complaint either lol

  58. It’s not very common but it’s called a suicide here when you mix all the drinks together(midwestern us) it was mostly a think we did as kids to show off

    Nowadays I prefer to only mix for taste (like adding lemonade to sprite or Mountain Dew and the like)

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