Paper Half-Life 3 – EPISODE THREE

Paper Half-Life 3 – EPISODE THREE


Hear us, valve. Hear us, valve. Eh? Hear our plea, almighty valve. Accept this virgin sacrifice, and deliver us what we desire! Take me, almighty valve! I want to bask in your glory! The valve is pleased. So, you guys a cult or something? We are, my lady. We call ourselves The Followers- Of the Valve! Our flock has been worshiping this valve for 18 years. I love you, valve! Um, why? This is a magic valve. It produces the most wonderful and imaginative- Dolls Dolls? Yes. Oh, this was the first, Half Doll. And look. Oh, beautiful Doll Strike. Doll of Defeat. Team Fortress Doll. Portdoll. Left 4 Doll. Dollta 2. Uh huh, they’re very nice. So what’s the problem? We have been waiting 10 years for the fabled sequel to Half Doll 2. But something’s wrong with the valve. For the last few years, it’s only made hats. Aww, so cute. Yes, but no hat will satisfy our desire for Half Doll 3. Maybe you could help us. Find out what’s wrong with the valve. Alright. Alyx. We have to stop the combine. We don’t have time to help a dorky cult! Here, I’ll give you this cowboy hat for your headcrab. I… need it… Get in that pipe, you two! We’ll deal with the combine later. Gordon, turn on your flashlight. I can’t see anything. Ah! Ah! An alien! Greetings. Stop it, Gordon! Are you the one making the dolls? [sigh] I lost the will to make dolls a long time ago… Okay, but any chance you could make Half Doll 3 real quick? People are throwing themselves in the sludge for it. I saw, but you must understand. Half Doll 3 has been over hyped. I feel it will only be a disappointment. Listen, those people down there have waited 10 years. Make the doll as good as you can and they’ll love it! Hmm, perhaps you are right. Here, take it. I finished it in 2010. Ooo. Looks pretty good. Thank you, human. I feel as though a great burden has been lifted. Look what I’ve got! [gasp] Oh, could it be? At long last, Half Doll 3. I… I… I hate it! What? We waited 10 years for this. So underwhelming. Uh. Could you give us that reward now? Reward? There’s your reward! Nooo! Come, everyone. Into the pit! We have nothing left to live for. Did they like it? Look at what I brought down the hole It’s a big Half Life 3 doll And it’s shitty.

99 thoughts on “Paper Half-Life 3 – EPISODE THREE

  1. The Doll box is coming soon
    inside of the doll box is:

    team fortress doll
    doll of defeat
    left for doll
    half-doll
    Doll-strike BETA
    portdoll
    Dollta 2

  2. If you think Gordon Freeman Riding an advisor with a crowbar and portal gun isnt awesome then go fuck yourself.

  3. After reading the script Laidaw has recently uploaded about what he'd have done if he had continued Half Life, this video basically summarizes my opinion.

  4. Wow, when the cult of the valve thing gave the potal doll turret a hat i said aww the same time with Alex.

    Half life 2 ep 3 confirmed

  5. ami no me importa lo que vaya a ser el half life 3 solo quiero que salga ya
    ya tendre tiempo para ver sus defectos >:,v

  6. мне всегда было интересно как горден срёт в костюме и не голодает???

  7. Bonus Tip: This episode is actually based on Half-Life 2 secret map called cave vortigaunt . You can find it before going to Black Mesa East.

  8. Would have been funny if they said "the Valve is pleased" when the second guy fell in. Glad I found these vids!

  9. Any resemblance of the vortaguant (I don’t know how to spell it, please don’t send me to your cult to sacrifice me) being at the end of the sewage tunnel after the gates are opened from that combine helicopter boss battle?

  10. All Parts of Half Life 199?-2099

    Half life 1
    Half life 2
    Half life 3

    90 Years Later…

    Half Life 666
    Half Life 667

    (Hehe…)

  11. I feel like this has a relationship with recent events. Like the cult is half life fans Alyx and Gordon are some people that convince valve to release hl3 and the vortigon Is Gabe Newell

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