Key & Peele – Text Message Confusion – Uncensored

Key & Peele – Text Message Confusion – Uncensored


– “BEEN TRYING TO REACH OUT
TO YOU ALL DAY. ARE WE ON FOR TONIGHT?” [sighs]
JEEZ. – WHAT?
YOU CAN’T CATCH ME. YOU CAN’T CATCH ME. I’M LANCE MOORE.
TOUCHDOWN, BITCH. WHAT?
PAUSE. [phone chimes] OH, SHOOT. KEEGAN’S BEEN TEXTING ME. “SORRY, DUDE,
MISSED YOUR TEXTS. “I ASSUMED WE’D MEET AT THE BAR. WHATEVER.
I DON’T CARE.” [phone chimes] – “SORRY, DUDE,
MISSED YOUR TEXTS. “I ASSUMED WE’D MEET AT THE BAR. WHATEVER.
I DON’T CARE.” “WHATEVER. I DON’T CARE”? WHAT THE FUCK IS HIS PROBLEM? “DO YOU EVEN WANT TO HANG OUT?” – “DO YOU EVEN WANT
TO HANG OUT?” OH, THAT’S CONSIDERATE. “LIKE I SAID, WHATEVER.” – “LIKE I SAID, WHATEVER”? FUCK THIS GUY. JESUS, “YOU…” – “ARE FUCKING PRICELESS.” AWW.
“YOU’RE THE…” – “ONE WHO’S FUCKING PRICELESS”? THIS M– THIS MOTHERFUCKER HERE. OH, HE WANTS TO–
OKAY, MM-HMM. MM-HMM.
OKAY. “YOU WANT TO GO…” – “RIGHT NOW?” HMM. GUESS I COULD DO THAT. [clears throat] “OKAY…” – “OKAY, LET’S GO”? HE SAID OKA–
“OKAY, LET’S GO”? ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU KNOW WHAT?
“YOU WANT TO REALLY…” – “DO THIS NOW?”
KEEGAN, YOU NUT. YOU’RE NOT PUTTING ME OUT. – “FUCK YEAH, LET’S DO IT”? OH, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! – “FIRST ROUND’S MINE.” – OH, NO!
OH, NO! THERE AIN’T GONNA BE
NO ROUNDS, ASSHOLE! IT’S GONNA BE
A FUCKING STREET FIGHT! THIS SON OF A– – ♪ ‘CAUSE TONIGHT WE GONNA
PARTY AND THE PARTY DON’T STOP ♪ – YOU! – BUDDY! LIKE I SAID, FIRST ROUND’S MINE. A BEER AND A GIMLET
FOR MY PARTNER RIGHT– WHAT’S THAT? – UH, I-I GOT YOU
A BASEBALL BAT WITH NAILS IN IT. – FOR MY POST-APOCALYPTIC
JACKIE ROBINSON COSTUME. HOW DID YOU KNOW?

100 thoughts on “Key & Peele – Text Message Confusion – Uncensored

  1. Peele is my life. I suck at texting. It does not get better with practice. This sketch is old and I still feel the same way. Five years after I first seen it.

  2. I went through that recently with my in law 😂😂 she's no talking to me, I'm not mad, but she is … Lol! Oh well!

  3. So does this mean stoners are easy to set up and murder unless you're emotionally distraught and uncomfortable in different situations?

    Or is this about two different attitudes looking at the same words and thinking differently….

    I'll take it as the first

    I mean you can take this comment anyway you want to
    But he did go in there with a baseball bat with spikes sticking out Willy nilly ready to bash it into his skull
    Balls in your court…. Or your chin

    And…….

    You could also be about people getting stoned and stealing other people's leisure thought, making them up tight and wanting to kill……but I don't think your that advanced
    🚪🚶

  4. Why I don't text.. no tone of voice or too many misinterpretations. Video chat of call refuse to be in any relationship that relies on texting. Bad experiences with it too

  5. My first book of mandatory reading for my relationship therapy couples or I won’t see them… Dr. Gray.. Men are from Mars…. problem solved! Unfortunately…. I’m still in biz and thriving 😱🥃

  6. He was about to get fucked up and didn't even know it. .. this is so me, everytime my daughter use the term "whatever mom" I'm one step away from a bat with nails up side her head.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *