Dear Ryan, please remake How to be Ninja. Dear Ryan, can you do, “How to be Ninja part 2?” Dear Ryan, can you make “How to be Ninja”? Dear Ryan, How to be Ninja! [How to be Ninja! x7] That video is so old. The sad part is that I think that some of you watching are actually younger than that video. Anyways, it’s been like 8 or 9 years since this video came out. A lot of you actually saw it back then. It’s one of my most popular videos by far. And probably every single year since, I’ve been asked to remake this video for some reason. And there’s reasons why I never remade that video. I mean first of all, it has tons of copyrighted music in it that almost got my account removed in 2008. Secondly, there’s a very offensive joke in this video. That back in the day it was like, I mean it wasn’t okay to say, but people could say it and get away with it. Today, I can’t get away with it. If you saw the original, you know which part I’m talking about. And last, but most importantly, it’s probably one of my most popular videos of all time. And no matter what I do, or how I remake it, you can never beat the original. People naturally love the original more. I mean think about every single movie that was ever remade. The people who watched the original, or read the books always complain about the new version. So I apologize for this misleading title, but I am never going to remake How to be Ninja. It has copyrighted music, it has offensive jokes, and it’s never going to meet anyone’s expectations, so why do it? It would probably just upset more people who actually enjoyed the original, so I’m sorry. I just can’t make it. With that being said, here is a parody of How to be Ninja. Enjoy. (Ryan trying to sing with autotune 😀 ) (HA) AH! Oh, oh sorry. This song is copyrighted More of Ryan attempting to imitate the original song… and this is kinda racist. Chi Cha Ching, Chi Chu Chung , Chi Cha Ching, Cha Ching Chung Woah! *groans in pain* Wah! Give me your money! No! *groans in pain* Stop it! Stop it! *quiet* Go. Hey you! Who, me? Yeah, you. God? Do you want to learn how to defend yourself? Yeah. Aren’t you tired of bullies picking on you all the time? Mhmm. Well then, How to be Ninja 2.0 is the DVD for you! This DVD comes with your two very own personal trainers. Hello, my name is Hanate Wakuso Shiseo Tadashite Teriyaki Suzuki Honda Civic. Hello, my name is, Bob. And today we are going to be teaching you how to be ninja! Hata! Hooooo! You’re supposed to fall down. Oh. Hooo. The first lesson in being a ninja is to make loud, unnecessary sounds when you hit things. *Ryan Screaming and Yelling/ Ninja Sounds* Wait a second… *groans in pain* Lesson two. You must be able to catch anything with your chopsticks. Hey, should we change this lesson? I feel like catching things with your chopsticks doesn’t really have anything to do with being a ninja. Yes, it does. You just don’t want to do it because you know you’re going to get hit at the end. No. I-I just think that we don’t- *sigh* Fine, I’ll do it. Hey! I got it! Hey, wait, where’s the green ball? I thought I was supposed to get hit by it. Yeah, about that. I kinda left the green ball in Hawaii so… Oh, now you guys want me in a video. Eight years later with no videos and waiting in Hawaii. Well, you know, we don’t even need the green ball ’cause what does a green ball have to do with being a ninja anyway? Yeah, but we have to end this lesson somehow. I mean, I gotta get hit my somet- *gunshot* *groans in pain* Lesson three. A true ninja must be able to teleport from place to place-sudu. And that’s how it’s done! No, it’s not. *all scream* Lesson four. You must be able to transform into anything. You must be able to turn into an animal. *makes monkey sounds* Turn into a tree. Or maybe even a– Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. We can’t say that one, remember? Why? That’s a gay slur now, and we can’t get away with saying that anymore. Right. Alright, let’s just go back and do it ag- Or maybe be a politically correct homosexual male. I am just like, equal to, and/or equivalent to everyone else in every way. *ding* Let me just do that one again That sounded so gay. Lesson five, you must be able to preform a fatality. *laughs* *gasp* *scream* *scream* *gasp* *scream* Wait wait wait no no. Why? Why do I always have to get beat up in these? Well, because I’m the one showing the fatalities Why can you do fatalities too? Fine, if you really want to teach, go ahead ok~ *gathering energy sound* *gathering energy sound* *gathering energy sound*
Green Ball No Jutsu! oh… yeah… *gunshot* If you follow all these lessons It should look a little something like this *mad groan* Wait! The first lesson in being a ninja is to make loud, unnecessary sounds when you hit things. Are you ready? [Unnecessary Kombat] *girly scream* *slow-mo groan and scream* *yell* *screams in pain* *yell* Hanate! Bob! Hanate! Bob! Hanate! Bob! Hanate! Oh! Forget this! huh? *gunshot* *catching bullet by chopstick sound* Hey! I got it! I guess catching things with your chopsticks Really do have something to do with being a ninja… – I mean…
– Green Ball No Jutsu! Huh? *get hit sound* Teehee! That’s wrong… I’m scared, ha ha ha ha… Little further back… Dude, are you- Further back… Oh… that’s why… Sorry Sean *happy scream* Oh wait, my line… Damn it!