For you see, the name John Harrison was just a disguise. My true name… is Khan! Okiedoke! I’m Kirk. These are my friends, Spock and Bones. Hello. Hi there. You must have misheard. I said, my name… is KHAN! Is that supposed to mean something? Seriously guys? Wrath of Khan? Star Trek Two?! Come on. Not ringing ANY bells? Nope. What’s Star Trek? I have no idea. No one here’s seen Wrath of Khan?! It’s like the best one in the whole series! Jim, this man is clearly unstable. Agreed. Gas’em, Bones. What? We’ll ship his body to the admiral. ASAP. But the nerds… *cough* will love… all the Khan references!!! heeahaaaaaaa! Has anyone seen my uniform? How Star Trek Into Darkness Should Have Ended Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. It’s five year mission… to explore strange new worlds. To seek out new life and new civilizations. To boldly go where no man has gone before. *cheering* Captain James T. Kirk and Commander Spock, sir! Reporting for our five year deep space mission! Oh! Nobody told you? We don’t do those anymore. What? Space, missions, starships… the whole final frontier thing, done! I… do not follow. Haven’t you heard? The portable transporter Khan had that could send him anywhere? We just made a whole bunch of those. No point in keeping all those expensive ships around right? Here watch. Baby Gorn! Catch! That does seem logical. But what about the looming war with the Klingons? What about protecting the lives of the federation citizens? Son, are you stupid? Your friend, Bones, cured death weeks ago. Remember? When he brought you back to life? Oh right! That totally happened. Yeah and you guys just glossed over it! Look. Han Solo? Haaaaaaaaan! Ugh! I’m awake! Oh yeah. So, what does Starfleet do now? Elderly care! No one dies anymore, so we are stupidly over populated. In my day we didn’t have that thing you have! It’s cold! I need my pudding! Please young Spock, kill me. Not so fast old timer! We still have nine more sequals to milk out of you. Ugh! Live long and prosper my ears! Are you sure you wish to do this? You brought me into this video to speak Klingon… now let me speak Klingon. Very well. I’ll take it from here, sweetheart. Extra special thanks to Screen Junkies for writing this episode! Be sure to check our epic Star Trek colab with them here. Was that plug subtle enough? No? Go watch Honest Trailers. Now! Go! Is THIS where I left my uniform? He he he… bewbs.