Elite Status – Liza on Demand (Ep 8)

Elite Status – Liza on Demand (Ep 8)

– Whoo, alright, kiddos.
Gotta go. Got a huge day tomorrow. – Finally worked up the nerve
to send all that fan fiction
to Barack Obama? (laughing) – No. I am one task away
from Elite Status. Guys, I have had six months
to complete enough tasks
and keep my ratings up. I am this close
to pulling it off. – Elite Status! We should toast,
and tonight is two-for-one. – No, no, I shouldn’t. I want
to get it done first thing. Plus, the deadline is end of day
tomorrow, so… – Come on. One drink. One drink, one drink! – One drink! Elite Status!
(both): Elite Status!
Elite Status! – Alright, fine! You know
I can’t pass on a group chant. – Yes! Okay. Hey, barkeep. What is your most elite
beverage? – Well, tonight’s special is
the November 7th. (Oliver): What’s in it? – Enough alcohol to make
you forget who’s president. – We’ll take three. – Two! One of those is
two-for-one. (all): Elite! (coughing) (dog barking)
(truck backing up) (moaning) (thudding) – Ow. Ow? Harlow?! Oliver?! – Shh! You sound like Ariana Grande
trapped in a well! – Dude? What did
we do last night?
And how did I break my arm? – I don’t know.
Why do I have a briefcase handcuffed to my wrist?! Oh, my God, Liza. It’s locked! – Ow. – And what is in it?
What if it explodes? What if it’s porn? What if it’s straight porn? – Ow. Why is my Lady Jane
so sore? – Sounds like somebody had
a better night than both of us. – No, it like really hurts! Tyra fucking Banks!
– What?
(Oliver): What? – I got a piercing! Someone
pierced my business, look! Look!
(Oliver gasping) – What?
– Look. (gasping)
– Oh, my God, they went
right through the best part. – Like a shish kebab.
– It’s like a tiny door knocker. – It looks like somebody
stabbed a dolphin. (laughing) – Okay, I’m glad you guys think
this is so funny. I’m in pain! What the hell
did we do last night? – I don’t know. The last thing I remember is
us group chanting or something. – Uh…
– Oh, shit. Shit, I have to do my last
TaskIt job today to get
to Elite Status. What time is it?!
– Okay, shh. – Calm down, Chicken Littlest. You have all day
to do your one task. Meanwhile, I’m supposed
to have a meeting
with a client later. How am I supposed
to explain this?! And who has the handcuff key? – Ah, I need ice
down my Fanning sister. – Guys? Where’s my phone?
It’s not in my room. – I’ll do the Find My Phone
thingy. – Where is it?
(phone beeping) – It says it’s turned off. – What? No, no, no,
no, no, no, no, I need my phone
to log on to TaskIt.
– Just use one of ours. – No. I kept forgetting
my password, so I started
using the thumbprint. – Ugh.
– So, if I can’t find my phone,
I can’t do my one task, and then I’ll lose
all my points and status, and all of my hard work
will be lost!
(Harlow): Ah… No. I need to find that phone.
Today. – How? – Oh, I’ll tell you how. We’re gonna retrace our steps
until I figure out
where I left it. – I don’t remember anything,
do you? – I definitely don’t remember
drilling through the South Pole. – ‘Kay, we just need to think. (gasping)
– Wait. I remember something.
– What? – This is exactly like that
movie with Bradley Cooper! – American Sniper?
– Uh-uh. – American Hustle? – No! No, the one with the,
the… he has a hangover! – Wedding Crashers? Aloha! – Damn it! This is no time
for Hawaiian pleasantries. Okay, we need to find
my fucking phone! (theme music) (Liza): Ugh.
(Oliver): Oh, my God. Jesus. (Harlow): Oh, shit.
– Hey, Oliver? Can you help me tie my shoes,
I can’t do it one-handed. – Why me? Why not Harlow? – Do you not see me
icing my front bottom? – Okay, fine. So you’re gonna make
two bunnies, and the other bunny’s gonna
chase the other bunny, and… Okay, fine, you know what? You got me, I never learned
how to tie my shoelaces! Do you think anyone owns
this many boat shoes by choice?
– What?! Oliver… look…
Where’s my car? – Oh. Good question. – And who parked that
ice cream truck right there? – And is there still
ice cream inside? – Uh, guys? I think I know
who drove the truck here. – Dibs on all the chipwiches. – How did we get
an ice cream truck? – Also, the Chaco Tacos. – What if I’m selling Mary Kay?
(retching) – Ow.
– Oh, my God. I am so– (retching) – Is it bad that I still want
a Chaco Taco?
– Yeah. – You guys! I think we ate
nachos last night! Look. – Well, that’s definitely
nachos. – Yeah, but there’s only
one place in town that uses
whole jalapenos like that. (both): Jalapeno Susan’s. – Maybe I left my phone there
last night. Let’s go see if it’s there.
– ‘Kay. (Liza): Hey, should we have
cleaned that up?
Nah, it’ll rain in three months. (Liza): Oh, my God! There are so many flavors. This is exactly like a dream
I had, except the Obamas
aren’t here. – Oh, God, Oliver, slow
over the speed bump. Oh! Ah!
– Sorry, sorry, oh, my God. – Hold on, hold on.
(Harlow moaning) Here. – Good idea.
– Mm-hmm. – Oh, gotta love a Rocket Stick. – Oh, my God.
– Mm-hmm. (chuckling) – Oh, man, I did not expect
to see you guys back so soon. You guys tore it up last night! – So we were here. – Oh no, you guys are legends
now. You even ate a whole
Loco Grande Diablo. I mean, I was telling you guys
to like, calm down
because you were wasted, but you really wanted
your name on that Wall of Flame. And you did it! – Well, that was worth it.
– Wait, who’s Aubrey? – Your friend. Aubrey. – I don’t think
we know an Aubrey. – Stop, I know you guys
are friends, don’t even play. – Hey, did you happen to see
a phone here last night? It was a black-and-white case
with boobs on it. – No, I haven’t seen it.
– Damn. – But I have something you left.
– Oh, please be the key
to this briefcase. – Here you go. – Aftercare piercing
instructions? Oh, Harlow, these are yours. – Oh, yeah. I got my, um…
ears pierced last night. – You showed us all last night.
– Oh, crap. – Actually,
the whole restaurant. I had to pull you down off the
tables. You were really proud. – Oh, okay, that’s great. – Harlow, look. This is where
you got it done! Maybe we can go there and
see if they have my phone! Oh, we gotta go.
Thanks, Jalapeno Susan.
(Oliver): Bye. – Oh, here. Look, the chips go on top. It’s all about balance
and weight distribution. – Oh, thanks. – No problem, man. I do these deliveries
all the time. Good luck. (Liza): Damn it, we should
have gotten a burrito. (Oliver): Ugh!
(Liza): Just kidding. (rock music playing) Hey, did anybody leave a phone
here last night? – No, no phones. – Excuse me, did you give me
a piercing last night? – I don’t know, I pierced
a lot of people. Show me. – Um, no thank you. – Sorry, I’m bad with faces,
but I recognize my work. Oh, her I know. – I thought
you didn’t recognize faces. – Well, the sign helps. – Liza, that’s you.
You’re missing? – No, I’m not, I’m right here. Hold on,
this is from last night. Let’s call them!
Come on, come on, come on. – Seriously,
does this ever stop hurting? – Give it a couple hours. And the stimulating effects
will kick in. – Harlow, come on. Sorry, dude.
(mumbling) (Oliver): This was the address
they gave you? This isn’t scary at all. – Yeah, I really want to
help you find your phone today, but I’m not trying
to get murdered. – Yeah, and I’m not about to die
with this ugly ass briefcase
on my wrist. What if it’s the pee tapes?
What if I’m on it? – Okay, guys?
Nobody’s going to die. (loud banging)
(pop music playing) – No, no, no, no, no! Am I watching dancing
right now, or having a stroke? Again, from the top.
– Uh, hello? – You. (laughing) It’s you! My muse! For me,
the art of dance was dead. But then, last night,
in the club, there you were. Just so unique. Like a kangaroo on bath salts. And I knew then that I had
to just give up everything
that I was thinking about because you are the key
to Lady Gaga’s next world tour. – What?!
– Yep, boom.
Oh, my God, I need to tell her. Oh, oh, oh, oh, just stay right
there, don’t let her leave.
Okay, ahem. Ga-ga! Ha ha ha! (Liza): Gaga? – Okay, so this is clearly
a chic meth house, right? And that guy is super high,
right? – No. That’s Sebastian Foyeé.
He choreographs for everyone. I’ve been his assistant
for the past five years. But that was all gonna be
worth it, because I was going to be
the dancer on the next tour. And then last night, that all
changed when he saw you. – That doesn’t make any sense.
(Harlow): I know, right? If anyone’s gonna be
discovered, it’d be me. – Your friend Aubrey
convinced him. – Okay, who is this Aubrey guy? But more importantly,
when are the tour dates? – We’re supposed to be looking
for your phone. – Oh, right. You guys didn’t
happen to see my phone
last night, did you? – No.
– Look. I have no idea
what happened last night. But, there’s gotta be a way
that we can explain to your boss that this is all one big
mistake. I mean, you’re a professional
dancer. I’m just an amateur. A very… talented,
flexible amateur, but still. – Once he’s made up his mind,
there’s no convincing him. He just has to see it. – Well then, let’s show him. – What? (Oliver): Liza, Liza! This seems unnecessary. – Look, it’s not gonna take
that long, okay? Plus, I can’t take
this girl’s dream job! And then, I’ll have plenty
of time to find my phone.
Don’t worry. – Okay. – Oh. Mr. Foyeé! – Uh, yeah? – Although I am flattered
by your slightly disturbing
infatuation with me, I believe that you have
a better option right under your nose. Alright, and we’re gonna
prove it. With a dance battle.
Hit it! Is that not how you start
a dance battle?
You don’t say “hit it”? – Can you guys start the music? (pop music playing) – Guys! I know
I’m supposed to lose, but I really think
I’m killing it right now! I’m going on tour with Ga-ga! (cracking and crowd gasping) – You were right. You’re not a dancer. I have got to stop mixing
cough syrup and ayahuasca. – No, you got it.
(Liza): Oh, thank you. – Thanks.
You were perfectly awful. – You’re welcome. I mean,
I wasn’t, I wasn’t even trying. And I’m still no closer
to finding my phone. – All I remember is
when you got to the club, you kept asking them to play
Total Eclipse of the Heart. – Wait, Liza! That’s your go-to
karaoke song! Maybe that means…
– We went to karaoke last night! – Yes! – Yes! Oh, my God,
thank you so much. Ow. (Harlow): Oh no, Oliver,
another speed bump. Ah. (banging)
(Harlow moaning in pain) – Sorry!
– Oh! – Sorry…
– Ah!
– What? – I don’t know, that felt…
different. – Different, how?
– I don’t know, but I kind of
want to go over another one. – Yo! I am stoked! ‘Cause I thought you guys
stole this last night,
and I was like: What!? ‘Cause I kind of, accidentally,
gave you the wrong keys,
and you just drove off with it. – Sorry about that. Hey,
did anyone turn in a phone? – No. But can I get those keys
back? The ice cream people were
not so good-humored
about their truck being stolen. You like that?
I’m a standup. And now, I’ll get your car. – I would tell him to keep
his day job, but he’s not
good at that either. – Hey, could you help me
tie my shoe? – Oh, sure! – Thank you.
I can’t do it by myself. – Keep practicing,
you’ll get it. You can do anything
you set your mind to! – Thank you. – What if there are
killer bees in here? And then, I save the world
from all of the killer bees. And then, I become
the first gay superhero. – Unlikely.
– I was gonna make you
my sidekick. – Oh!
– Yes! – Damn it, it’s not in here.
Thanks anyways, man. Also, quick parking tip, you can just stick the keys
underneath the visor,
and you’ll never mix ’em up. See, all you have to do is… What? Whose key is this? (gasping)
– The briefcase! Let me see. Please be bees. Rudy’s Escape Room? – Where didn’t we go last night?
– Maybe my phone is there! Come on, come on, come on. – It’s you!
(book banging) In all my days of running
this escape room, I have seen some drunk people
in here before, but this?! – I’m so sorry.
Did we break a lot of stuff? – What? No! You left! You just snuck out the
emergency exit and walked out. You can’t just leave,
you guys! It defeats the entire purpose
of an escape room! Now listen, I worked very hard
to create an intricate game of riddles and puzzles,
in an immersive environment. And you… You guys basically
took a hot dump all over it! – Look, I’m really, really
sorry, we’re all really sorry,
right, guys? – So sorry. Now can you take this tacky ass
briefcase off my arm? – Fine. But only because I need
this for the next game tonight. – Also, I have to ask. Did you
happen to see my phone
last night? A black-and-white case
with a bunch of boobs on it? – No.
– Damn it! – And by the way, thank you
for leaving me out there
with your friend all night. All he did is talk about
how much he loves his mom,
and his bed. It was creepy. – Guys, it’s getting late.
What am I gonna do?
– I don’t know, Liza, but I am over this.
You might not find your phone. – Yeah, I’m cold, and I’m wet,
and I feel like I just gave
birth to a White Walker. And we still don’t know
where else we went last night. – I know where you guys went.
– What? Where? – Oh, I’ll tell you.
But first… You have to complete the game.
The correct way. (chuckling) Ah, the tables have turned. You guys had 47 minutes
on the clock last night
before you snuck out of here. (clock beeping)
Good luck! And by the way,
the emergency exits are locked. Highly illegal,
but you deserve it! (shouting and panicking) – Guys? The bloody
hand print is a five! That’s the last number
of the combination! Oh, my God, oh my God,
oh my God. Genius! Yes, yes, yes, yes!
Four, four, four. (gasping) Damn. He really did put
a lot of effort into this. Guys. You’re not even helping,
okay? I only have a couple hours
to get to Elite Status. – What is the difference? We’re
just gonna get let out of here
in two minutes, anyways. – Because I need to find
my phone, and in order to do–
– Oh, no, no! No, no! – What? What?
– Bark Paul lost five followers! See, this is because
I didn’t post today, because we were out all day
looking for your stupid phone. – Okay, well I wouldn’t have
lost it if you guys hadn’t kept
me out all night drinking! Plus, five followers? Really?
I’m gonna lose Elite Status! – Okay, can you stop
saying Elite Status? Seriously, I can’t hear you
say that again. It’s becoming
the “on fleek” of today. – Seriously annoying.
– You know what? I’m sorry I don’t have some
fancy real estate business, or a famous ugly dog, but that doesn’t make my job
any less real than yours. Okay, I’ve worked my ass off
to get to where I am, and you guys don’t care
about that at all! Some friends! – Friends? More like hostages! I had to flake on a client
today, and now, we are stuck in
this creepy ass hole’s dungeon because of you. – And how dare you call
Bark Paul ugly! – Harlow, he is ugly!
He looks like the pizza rat
(bleep) a hairbrush. – You guys are being such ass
holes right now. – No, Liza. We’re being honest. (clock beeping) (beeping accelerating) (door buzzing)
(sighing in relief) (Rudy): Time’s up! I knew you yucky dipshits
couldn’t make it out for real. – Look man, I did what you
asked. Now you just tell me,
where else did I go last night? – Oh. I have no idea. I just lied so you guys would
finish the game the right way.
– Rudy? I am officially not a fan. Not a fan! Can you tie my shoe?
– Ugh. – Hey. What do you got
for a hangover and failure? Thanks. – Looks like we all needed
a drink after today. – Liza! Oh, my God. I passed!
I passed my test! Whitney, remember? I waited on you last night. (all): No. – Ugh. It’s the November 7ths.
It gets everyone. We really shouldn’t serve them
on two-for-one night. – The November 7th? The November 7th! Guys, this is where
it all started! Oh no, what did we do? – Oh no, no nothing.
You were so sweet. I told you how I’m working here
to pay my way through
nursing school. I was worried about passing
my test on how to do a cast, and you offered to let me
put one on you.
– Wait, that’s how I got this? I didn’t break my arm?
– No, silly! But you ran out of here before
I could cut it off of you. Your friend, Mr. Graham was
really excited to take you
to an escape room. – Who?
– Mr. Graham. You know. – No, I don’t know.
– No. – Anyway, I passed the test,
thanks to you! So, you want me
to take that off you now? – Oh, my God, yes, please.
– Okay. – Alright. – Oh! God, this feels so good. (Harlow): Yeah, it kinda does. Oh, sorry. Um, the numbness
from the ice just wore off, and I’m starting to get
some feeling down there. That speed bump was just
a pre-show. – Damn, dude. I guess this is it. I’m never gonna be Elite. I mean, I know that didn’t mean
much to you guys, but it really mattered to me. – Honey, I know it did. But you don’t need some app
to tell you that you’re great. I mean,
look at what you did today. You helped that delivery guy
at Jalapeno Susan’s. – Yeah, you helped
that valet guy with the key. – Mm-hmm.
– …the dancer get the job. – Yeah. And you let a complete
stranger put a cast on your arm. I mean, who does that?
– You do. And that’s why we love you.
– Yeah. – Aw, guys!
– Hey. Totally forgot, I think one of
you left your phone here last
night. A black-and-white case… (all): With boobs on it?!
– Oh!
– Oh, my God! Thank you so much. No.
No, it’s dead. What time is it? – 11.
– Okay, I have an hour
’til midnight. And I have a phone charger
in my car. Oh, my God!
– Wait, your shoelace! – I’m gonna make it! (glass breaking) No. No. – Maybe it’s still okay? – Well, now it’s over. (cell phone ringing)
– Liza? How are you calling me,
we just saw your phone
get smashed in the street. – Hello? – Liza?
– Yeah. – You’re Liza, right?
This is you? – Is that… with us? – I’m Chris, assistant to Drake. – Drake!
– We were with Drake last night? – In his private life,
Mr. Graham prefers to go
by his given name. (all): Aubrey!
(yelling) – Yes. Anyway, you and
Mr. Graham totally hit it off because you have
identical phone cases. – The boobs! Oh, my God. – Then he offered the three
of you to try his new vodka,
“Blackout”. I assume he neglected to tell
you that it’s no longer
being sold in the States. There is no conclusive
evidence that Blackout makes you think you can win
a fight with a bear. Anyway, at some point,
your phone and Mr. Graham’s
phone got switch-a-roozied, and ended up in his pocket. But it died of battery life,
and then I charged it, for you! – Oh, my God, thank you!
– Oh, sorry, I forgot. He actually requested that I
delete all the photos involving
you guys and him together. – No.
– I’m so sorry. – You don’t… – Oh, FYI, there’s also zero
evidence that Blackout will make you crave
human flesh.
Like brain meat. – Thank you. – Oh, and Drake said… I mean,
Mr. Graham said he’s sorry, but he has to rescind
his invitation for you to attend
his Passover Seder party. After what you said
to his mother on the phone… Frankly, it’s unforgivable.
– Sorry. – Well, anyway, I am on my way
to the airport, we are doing
a really dope European tour. Mostly so we can get rid of as
much of this vodka as possible. The Germans love a little pain
with their pleasure. Oh, speaking of, how are
your piercings holding up? I’ve been icing Aubrey’s
all day. – Wait, he got one too?
– Yeah, from what I hear,
you all did. – Holy shit!
Well, would you look at that. You really think I would
have felt that, huh?
– Yeah. – Okay, alright, guys. Be safe! – Bye!
– Thank you! – And if at any point in
the future you have the desire to race or arm wrestle
a cheetah, remember this has nothing
to do with Blackout.
Totally unrelated! – Bye. – Well, at least
you got your phone back. – Yeah, with two minutes
until midnight. I’m never gonna complete
a task by then. Guys. I just got a task! – Huh. – To, uh… to twerk in the street? – Get twerking.
(Oliver laughing) – No! You didn’t! Thank you. – Wait. Hop, hop, hop. If you want five stars,
you better get
that booty shaking. – Mm-hmm.
– I want those five stars. (pop music playing) (Oliver): Oh, wow! – Oh, my God.
– Okay, okay, okay. That is enough dancing
from you in one day. – Five stars!
– And just under midnight. – I’m Elite Status!
(cheering) (phone chiming)
Oh wait, wait, wait. Only 15,000 points until… Platinum Status? There’s a Platinum Status? That’s some bullshit.
That’s some bullshit. – Come on.
– Wait, guys! I think I remember what
Bradley Cooper movie
this was like. Silver Lining’s Playbook. – No.
(laughing) – You’re still drunk!
(laughing) (theme music) – Elite Status!
– Elite!
– Whoo! – Elite Status! Uh…
Hey, barkeep. – This is exactly like that
mover. Uh… – He looks like the rat king
had a (bleep) baby with a pan. – Good luck.
(banging) (laughing)
Oh, my God.

100 thoughts on “Elite Status – Liza on Demand (Ep 8)

  1. I have to ask are the three of you friends in real life as you all come across so naturally with each other even in the bloopers please keep doing the fun show


  3. The way he vomited was so clearly fake it was funny.
    Also does anyone remember the name of the sex position on the valentine's episode

  4. That "all he did was talk about how much he loves his mom and his bed" line was a nice touch leading up to the crew hanging out with Drake haha

  5. シーズンの全部日本語訳もつけて欲しい、、

  6. who else here knew it was drake when he the escape room worker siad your freind kept saying i only love his bed and his moma

  7. Only 11 minutes in and already thinking its her phone in that case lol
    Edit: nvm it wasnt in there lol
    Edit: 18min in, i think she wrapped it on her arm.

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