BRITISH PAPERS PLEASE | Not Tonight – Part 1


Top of the morning to ya laddies! My name is Jacksepticeye and welcome to a game called Not Tonight. This just came out on Steam, or at least it just showed up in my Recommended List and it’s a game That’s basically papers, please but I think it’s European as you can see we are in London right now, We have the lovely the lovely European stars right here. It looks really good. I like the art style of it a lot. It seems to have a lot of very similar mechanics to papers, please. So just imagine right now going ‘BUM BUM, BUM’ I miss papers, please. So it’s nice to have some game that might fill that void even though we’ll never have GLORY GREATEST back again. We we might have ‘Jolly Good!’ Let’s start the game and see what it’s all about. Okay, so my appearance I can change. Oh I can be Philip J fry! Umm, voice select? *Starts playing random words in different high pitched voices.* Jack: Heh Heh *Initiates Jacksepticeye Deep british voice* Like that one, you’re going to sounds luck. I’m gonna talk like this and all and like that Avatars, Heritage: you were born in Birmingham. Oh good old broom here from the streets Well, a street but a nice one really by the time you were as you were you read secondary school. You read all chairs Aww, boring. (This whole segment you read was Yakub, future editors. Don’t get rid of this. Please.) You’re born in bath No We were born in London. See that that’s a good one born in London Pass and Birmingham. No, it’s from there I’ve been to both you you’re in demand. Then you’re out of them. That’s that’s how much? They haven’t Okay, so we only have three, I’m gonna go with the London, um, I want to change your shirt No, no, oh my god, what’s up tiny head? Let’s just go with this. I don’t even know if this is going to matter I’ll be a 1st New Year Eve bowl the British Museum, London, England Jane and I’m December 31st 2018. Okay, so this is what’s gonna Celebrating one year in power albian. First winter ball…This is great Oi! you over there stop! Okay, let’s talk to the boss. What’s going on boss? Oh the euro bounce of Grace’s us with their presence No, rush. The New Year’s Eve Ball is the old most important event in the year I’ve messed that one up, but it’s cuz it was the raised proper was i? Well, get your things choppy chop. No worky you no money Understood understood Sir Okay, how the hell do I play this game? Alright, so They think it’s exactly like papers please. It’s meant to be Like a different version of that kind of game I don’t even know if I need the same people work them everything I don’t think so Okay, so I got a ticket or click the clicker to allow entry into the venue Alright and what’s this – I’ll use the radio to stay in contact. Okay. Got it. No one want to talk to boss. Oh Do you’re about to Get your things choppa shot no working on money. Yes, sir. I heard you the first time let’s go through the door All right, let’s see if brexit really did have any merit we are now open ticket holders only no ticket no entry Tickets, please I don’t know what I am fucking doing Click to allow entry. Okay. So if you have a ticket, you’re allowed it. Okay. Got it. You have a ticket jolly good in you go You take it golden ticket, there you go. Okay. So first level is very pretty easy. These are different cameras Return tickets is my entry golden ticket on oh shit Yesterday Mon today is Monday. Okay. Got it Ticket, please. Are you able to get in golden ticket on a Monday? Let’s bring oh shit stuffs going down y’all Yeah, oh Man, could the game just stay that easy European citizens real okay boxy Yeovil Somerset generally first one waiting Alright, so this is our apartment This is kind of neat having the different camera angles I don’t know how that’s gonna benefit me you like right and left to the screen. I guess some things might come in here Later on ♫ Bob, bob, Bob, bob ba ba duh ♫ Glory greatest I missed our SOT Scott Euro Heritage resident number one one two Britain alone Person of Euro heritage welcome to relocation block B your residence requested has been rejected. Oh That’s a sad thing have an ID. I have an eye Bob this bag not a natty – bag finding clothes your Transitional residence visa to maintain transitional resident status earned 2500 pounds by January 31st Okay, so have to make 2500 pounds by the end of the month integration officer Joe will contact you or you he will arrange a site visit to help with your orientation, okay What what do I do? Wow, there it is All right, cool, um, right how do I here we go turn on fallin press home button How do it– you didn’t teach me how to play any of this shit? Oh, there we go. That’s my fault You’re a dirty crack screen, dude Euro dose 2.1 starting up tracking Camera control on app control. This is a slow phone Finalizing sir. Come on. I’ve places to be in people to reject Okay, good texture the news that’s going on in the news today Politics I’ll be on first leader Simon Taverner I was hit back at critics has hit back at critics of his Britain along policy The simple fact is that in these difficult times? Britain must look after her own Despite protests residents requests continue. Okay, ba Baba politics Politics boo. Am I right guys? Hey, it’s Joe. Listen close fresh meat I’ll be coming by on Thursday to explain a few things You want to have started a job by then or this will be a short friendship We’re friends Earn your keep don’t cause trouble maybe we’ll even let you stay Maybe get some rest work tomorrow Alrighty now Last time, I played papers, please. I was not the best at it. I was that I was not very good at the game I had a lot of fun playing it fantastic series I loved it to death and I would not change a thing about the way it went down But I was not the best at the game, so I’m not going to expect to be the best at this one either I don’t oh, it is brexit the post breaks it rise of Albion first continues to take established politics by storm whatever Level one might upgrade my level. I did see on the steam page that they could upgrade my apartment. So I’m very excited about that the King’s Head Take job Okay, let’s go. We need to change clothes or anything what’s going on what’s going on here integration officer jump is visiting Okay, I need to check Mike on all raw editing said it seemed Bampton in Devon. Ah So we don’t just do one place like the border in papers, please I do a whole bunch places It’s the Swedish Chef from the muppets here Danube answer. Yeah go to I’m deep pleasure She’d be a pretty quiet. No Curfews been keeping most my regulars in order should find things pretty simply check IDs at the door Make sure everyone is over 18, got it. Okay. I’m gonna be Jason safer for the rest of this playthrough He’s in the meg And he always has eye are closed They didn’t five customers get buried. They did more. You could get a bonus good it Okay, so I just have to look out for IDs I like the starts at these games cuz it’s like you have a ticket you get in You don’t buy you have an ID you get in v18 you get it? Okay, so we’re in 2018 now so oh, I’m bad at math. I need to calculate this out What’s the everyone needs to be over 18 showed up don’t judge my math, okay 2018 – Okay 2018 – 18 as soon as I typed it out. I was like that’s fucking easy. Okay. Shut up But yeah, I deserve good who will get on with it interact Who did so I’m going to disco dance a little I was in ABBA who did some Oh case the same thing again Alright, let’s stop. Let’s get a few Trolleys in this place is fucking cool-looking Vote you Kip. Fuck you Kip Okay, what are you guys who wants to get in Okay, select queue Oh A date, please. All right, 90 97. Okay, you are allowed Select issue that’s not an issue. What are you why are you telling me to select an issue? Fine Needs to be over 18. He just got in. Where are you from 1998 sex mail? I cannot tell I’m gonna just let you in. This is gonna be pretty easy I’m gonna I’m gonna let in at least five people in 1995. You’re good How was that? 1987 you’re well allowed in old balls day 1984 that’s solid. Oh, wait shit. I should see if they’re out of date June 2019 we are at Okay you yeah, you’re fine wait 2019, yeah, you’re fine I overthink things Alright 1991. You’re a good 20 21 1978 cool cool who’s the lightning keep striking this So the more people I let in the better, oh that was 2018 if we keep it going August 20 18 1989 good good good. This place is hoppin man Everybody stand annoyed not a 96 you were allowed in ID please 7 January 2019. Good good. I’m letting 12 people in 97 21 balding go and have yourself a point Ok, 1999. You just make the cut lady 1976 2019 good good good. Everybody’s great sign up citizens right now Can I pick another Que. Can I let go over here? Do I only have one Q last call to still get a few more in? Okay, let’s get to 20 Where’s my timer? Oh I guess it’s here. I’m nineteen eighty twenty nineteen. Okay, so I have like I’m like twenty minutes left to go thirty minutes left to go on a 94 Dre 19 gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta good. Okay, let’s Go 1995 2020 want your goods who can move these things around. Why would I want to do that though? 1979 okay, everybody in Tacori greatest. Okay. Everybody’s allowed in Good jolly. Good September 2018 You’re good Yeah, yeah Okay, it’s the 2nd of January 2018, okay, so we’re just going into 2018 so shootin star over there Are we doing Oh time to go home everybody Sorry pub’s close to his music – no in everything you could have gone in and had yourself a point a point of the of the bitters This is we happy few All right, how we do talk to boss how we do boss. Here’s your Beasley bridge door. Oh Oh 32 that’s not a lot of money 32 pounds in one night for standing out there for hours Boo, boo boo, honestly, I feel sorry for you euro first. My bloomer was a Polish chip good blook do you know, I’m from Anyway another job tomorrow if you’re up for it, you get free bouncer now scram, okay? Jesus wait calm down man. Your establishment is not that great I saw it in a Simon Pegg movie once well, isn’t that nice first up is complete time for bed All right. So I like this there’s a bit more to it I actually get upgrades and stuff and I can get better at my job and I can get stuff for here and whatever Hey your friendly neighborhood officer here Started on bouncer yet, huh getting in the way of regular honest folks Job you euros were born for really I’m coming to visit tomorrow tidy up man. There’s a lot of politics in this Skip work, the Kings had one Kings had to upgrade Hurry up, why would I upgrade my clicker for? How would that help guest list scannin ban Whoa Okay, whatever let’s just let’s just go on to the job I don’t think we’d be able to do anything really yet anyway, but It also still kind of has the the weird vibe. This is like a new European Kind of vibe back then. It was like Berlin Wall like Soviet Russia type of vibes in papers, please So this one is like a newie New Age version 362 days until Am I going that long? Hey Bert. Hey booty could beg for another day work Look at those Brits and your roads working together in harmony. Wow, this is weird Cuz this is a thing that will happen if things go through You’re not gonna be you’re not gonna be European anymore if you live in the UK Makes you want to weep But on yeah real unity right turns out we’ve got a problem with expired IDs keep a peeled Your eyes let the IDS don’t peel the IDs. Oh and keep watching for the under Ange Expired IDs underage. No problem. Uh Jared complete three jobs free they may even make you head bouncing It’s not just a little either you get double pay you a few special benefits. So just like everywhere else I guess but why would you wanna work elsewhere? Don’t answer that all right, so I need to look out for expired so anything Anything before January 3rd 2018 this is where I’m gonna fall apart. I’m not good with management. I’m not good with focus I’m not good with keeping collating information and time and numbers and everything So you’re about to see some fuck-ups everybody. You know, what what I don’t care I see the moon in the moon sees me god bless the moon and god bless you No expired IDs over 18 zone 8 want 10 in tonight? Ok, Oh a date, please hear me This is this is expired Expiry selected. How do I do the thing? How do I how do I How do we Select expiry. I it selected it. How do we do the thing? How do I like to ask the information? How do I point it out? What are we just hand it back oh Okay, I get it it’s this song in That we use this. Um, this is expired as well. I think we use the song for the chase Brodie video. I Think we did 20 19, that’s good 1973 you’re allowed in It sounds a lot like it or like a dude. Perfect, Saab 20 21 1997. Can you go? 20 19 1989 and you go. Oh No problem ID, please September 2018 Alright, you’re allowed in but just about you almost didn’t make the cut 1993 2015 come on, man This is expired by like three years What Do they have to give that back twice or that this guy interrupted? Okay Okay, I need to start getting more people in faster I need that money I need to make 2520 1999. Oh poor did have a fun joy Kings egg Top it morning to you. Okay, 22nd of the 11th Are you allotted yes Yeah, I figured you were underage I didn’t I couldn’t do the math in my head fast enough 2020 1985. Oh Yeah, of course sir underage Shit shit shit shit shit. I need to get two more in May 20 20 1948 go Let me do this faster faster I hate having to do math December twenty eighty. Yeah, you’re good Brad OD please Andy 2020. There you go. I Need 78 24 you go. I got this I got this no problem. Oh It’s even telling me right here this is not a date but This ID is her today just died How dare you use one of my Beach They get a bonus I Think I got a bonus. I hope I got a bonus. I need that money. That was not a great. Uh That was not a great one. I could have done better there Okay, I’ll talk to the boss how’s it going Not bad work out there have a drink on me weep not allowed to serve anymore tonight. Never mind. Oh I needed 15 or 20 for the bonuses Dammit man that was bad Thanks. Anyway a few more good jobs, and I’ve been looking at my new head doorman. I’m on it. I Was Jason Statham talk like that? You’ve just been stifled his throat. It’s like eatin razor blades I canna coast All right mie, level two now. No four G’s. Oh Is this my is this my do tur a friend Yep, it’s to Boy, what a lovely crap. Oh, you’ve got names interrogation officer dupe You can call me the io j for short. Oh, just call me you But you can call me milord if you like Lord man, go around get people. Call me my lord It’s my job to make sure you froggies and crowd stay nice and legal Now listen close you see a place ain’t free you wanna noise Asbestos stuff roof over your best are earning. I’m of your transitional residence visa Okay, come on. Hurry up should be in your bag. Thank you. Got it, man. There you go. Jesus cam down Here One month and on the deportation list – I see don’t worry. You’ll be back home in no time About a hundred miles. Oh, I none of that. Froggy Lilly. I might French I Misinterpreted the voice now. May I have you packing already but now Oh Special little flower conscious wool soft with dignity. Can we So fine, you scrounge up the two-and-a-half grand Maybe we let you stay for now. Anyway next month. We’ll see Strong and silent type. Hey good. Well if things work out, I may have a job for you myself Say thank you officer you Thank you Say euro. I think this could be the star of a beautiful relationship all that more Kings their jobs to bouncer They always need you you I’ll be back in a week. Keep working. Don’t mess up and remember We’re watching you big brother You’re always watching Now get to work, okay Thank you big mr. Officer scary man, I’m gonna go back to my Club King’s Head Dave here Vsauce Michael here, so I can’t hire you full time. Hey Thanks gig economy But check your head doorman side of son bouncer profile page double pay. Yes, you told me yesterday. Oh, yeah Pretty good me you my own head next forget me on head next To to to P you be let’s go back all Rights in the bands wrap my upgrades. What do we need to upgrade? Standard issue clicker click to allow ingenious animation rust-free clicker version, too Can these like Jam I Would suck so try to store Alright no job. Alright, let’s advance the day. Wait. Did they just wake up? Yeah, that was the only thing I had going on today a party what the way what’s good is thing Jimmy o King’s head 3 this is going to be a game where I embarrass myself a lot with my math ability. It’s my least favorite subject Change between British citizens and persons of European origin escalated today when violence erupted outside citizen relocation block 5 We were in citizen relocation block beam Those are different Interrogation officer you commented this is where the half are Leaders and I don’t care about politics Alright just give me my glory greatest and I’ll be on my way where’s little potato man. He was always my favorite Hello bass, man. Hey, I’m thinking about the head doorman rule or word to be late. Grab. It might one make it worth your while Hmm can give you first dibs on the last few pound. Maybe that old disco dancing middle from the other night Sound good. I’m forced to work here anyway encouraged strongly encouraged And I basically paid nothing Still better than something right? You’re offering me a worthless. Disco dancing medal See you you as a clever woman, right? I know he’s must be French, but I liked you in that voice Look, I get it – just keep the queue happy and you’ll get a mega bonus Take the cue camera you’ll see a smiley face if you’re doing okay. Keep the cube moving Worldport. No Oh end avoid any incidents obviously – all that and the big abode is easier It’s not like a Barney character Omega is Megan is it like to make aa Surprisingly underwhelming. Oh, yeah and one more thing This bloke Ferris keeps trying to get in keep him away from the punters or gay Paris yeah buries her fancies himself king of the club scene little prick with them Bank of nose candy That’s cocaine. I Don’t want to see you mean here. Got it. No excuses Right, okay. So I’ve keep they do the same as always I’ve keep the patrons happy You have to keep the line moving and don’t let Ferris it. Okay, let’s fail a whole bunch L. We All right, I’m gonna get out here outside the king’s head an armor. Talk to Ferris. Oh Yeah poppin so pop owed a place 20:28 95 big ooh Wait, where’s the smiley face? Oh there it is. Don’t even want a for yup Oh We should be checking the name shouldn’t shit Robert Wilson 981 2018 Yeah, you’re good You’re good man up on in and about pule 1918 Jason Pearson a 921 that’s good. That’s very good. Everybody. This place is very busy for a place that looks like it’s up north 1996 2018 April you’re good, right? Yeah, is it who are you Are you are you the guy back off the queue you’re joking my it’s feriss ferriss you can’t kick me out Ferris Fox now Don’t want you hear about it. It’s something for you I don’t what you get out my fucking face you want this this ain’t over Oh good my time stops. This ain’t over pal what I call Dave You’re finished You finished. I’ll tell you ghetto your first training fucking ferret is way in Don’t do any cocaine or the or the weed mm. No Sorry, but you gotta get out of here You’re good hop on in have fun get drunk don’t text anybody when you’re drunk though. You’re gonna regret it Especially if you tuck Steve again, he doesn’t like you anymore Nice I can just I’m a cool bouncer, you know, I don’t have a cool outfit though. This is out of date y’all got my fucking like No, it’s it’s no it’s bad is birdies gether Aren’t your fucking brains. I live by the law Only people who have good stuff Only good people who have good stuff. I don’t want your fucking bribes shits I’m going on as you should go back to school Alright you can get it. Oh, I’m fine. So I’m ID please Dude, don’t do it dodo Sorry, go back to battle screw you Time is great. It’s very place in here. Ok, we’ve known a half left. Uh, you’re good I need to get a 15 I can actually get to 20 if I do it faster But I can talk and also it’s a forward 2018 good Alright here we go. Here we go You got to have nice documents if you want to get into glory greatest Okay, if you don’t have the documents you can’t get that fucker my line It’s a five routine. Yes The D please last call okay, this is earned when you’re one okay and get to twenty I can get my bonus No mistakes almost takes yes I’m feeling this. I don’t think I knew all this place Actually, I do he’s insight. I think I think we’re doing right Does he count Hey, okay, there we go goes in time 26 people 26 people get to go in there and have a bang ass time Even though that guy got in like right at the end so he goes in he’s like, yeah, and then everybody’s rocking out He’s like, oh we’re leaving. Oh fuck Alright boss man, how did I do I Think I did pretty well That was great Thanks Don’t forget to her Babur boo to Jake out my other jobs and a bouncing board board. Well did whoa, I Want to see oh I had to get a 30. I thought it 25 would do it shit I’m so close to a next level. We’re gonna be instant zero warning three fine for fail a Boo boo boo boo boo. I really wish I got saved. I Really? Wish I got to record some voices with this game seems amazing. Ah New head bouncer I got the job Hey, it’s the king’s head Dave just heard you booted at the ferry tour d’azyr’s good on you, oh the ferret first the fur it Shouldn’t do this, but here’s a little bonus for keeping the Cubs away. Hey, you don’t tell I won’t What do you want to get? Well, what an 82 pounds? loaded Screw this I’m moving to Hollywood. I’m gonna be an actor You pull visit again next week earn twenty five hundred million a month. Okay. I got it. What’s the day keeps a four-post man He’s at 5:00. Okay, so I get a lot of jobs. All right good. I think I should be able to wait 2,500 pounds by then If I keep making this much I don’t think I’ll get there but we might we’ll see what happens. Whoo Yes, who is it Dick love fan. No your neighbor There is many months hello. Yes manners Me learner That is a difficult name to say We learn now a flat six right next door. No, no do not need to know your goodness. I just call you stinky things You last week here. Maybe I’ll learn your name you seen my Vick love This doll often drunk. I Don’t know you didn’t raise your arm. So I don’t know how tall it is it as tall as this. That’s a very tall. Oh Do not have silica what is polite phrase in this language? bit of a twat Just at home if you see yes not big talker Article, welcome to block 30 get tetanus jabs or tetanus your choice you get tetanus jab or tetanus jab you Okay, bye helpful lady So is is the story about my guy gonna be that he was born in Britain but he looks like he’s from somewhere else in Europe and it’s gonna be a whole race thing because He kept saying that he was from but I’m from and then the guy will cut him off. I Don’t know We’ll see what happens game feels a little preachy Alright Kings Head regulars beats Dave Stobart 7th of January through 38 days. We’re Zeebo Ok boss man, let’s do this lets me call em money only have 30 people in tonight tonight’s go to be busy Oh the competition close Even better. It’s two for one night. Don’t know later. Oh gosh Up yours, too No, I mean Anybody’s a deal like that brings out all the fakers Lycus Fake IDs watch for black and white flags no stamp on the ID Anything like that. Those grifters will stop at nothing to get that sweet sweet cider Seems likely They can look at the player and all the rest underaged expiry. Of course This job’s not going to get any easier Great, there is an upside the more jobs you complete for any venue. Well murder they get Not a good thing. Well, you get paid more there’s that that paid is little anyway twice gets annoying No color no stamp chick oh, right, so If this doesn’t have color and there’s no stamp up here Got it Okay. See this is where I fall apart when it starts introducing so many different mechanics Alright the night is starting the place is pumping 120 in tonight. Oh Christ, okay Mantha place popping off already you you were the first in line, you know, you didn’t have to do that Okay color Hologram select what? So you don’t have one, okay I was like, I’m supposed to see something there, right? Okay. Yes for the Marigny, okay in your hop So I have to look out blind for the flags and yeah Sebastian Walsh. Oh, I’m sorry Boyd You too young Unni I’m off. Okay. See you later. Bye II. Okay. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes Have a good time. I like you. I’m trying get in my line and cause me golf. Oh This is way inspire, dude Don’t bribe me but I don’t want it. You know, I’m a man of the law. I uphold the rules Yes, yes, yes, okay, yes, let me just kept their IDs Yes, yes, yes, yes go, all right This is it, come on baby kick my ass You know these songs are copyrighted uh-huh any to 2018, all right Kevin have a good time maybe change your shirt No one’s gonna dance with you if your shirt looks like that Khadijah this looks great Khadija Or khadiyah. Sorry, you’re gonna have a great time. Just go in there and have a fun time. Yes I just said the same thing twice. That’s okay Who am I talking to I don’t know Okay, you are 20 in and I am being very very slow about this shit. I didn’t see the flags. Okay? Yeah, yes justice Oh Nice outfit and hairdo Looking good Tiffany. I didn’t even see your name. It says your name and I just made up one for you Anyway, that’s fine. Any night. Sweet ring a teen. Yes Elise head on in a fellow Brit. Oh Wow Yeah, you’re good I am the king’s head head on in Mali Papa Mali if you want it’s up to you. It’s your life. You can live it. However, you want and your energy yeparooni Yes, yes, yes, yes heavy that’s a great name I like that name I mean you can head on into glory great is that Was another Emmy but the exact same lady Last call okay. I need to get three more in. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep shit Okay, don’t be any strikers in this one Yeah This one gets in the way then I yeah 7 2000 K we have the base met That’s good. Yes, yes. Yes. Yes. Hey born in 1990 same as me, dude Women have the same one Sorry It’s over 18 only I’m not gonna get bonus on this one cuz I’m too slow Head on in Nancy have a grand old time Abdul you’re missing a hologram dude. I am sorry, but get out of my line Detained Oh Edie please Yeah head on in Sorry what was in time Damn it. I want to see if I could get another one in sorry folks man. This place is hoppin for the word is They should not be this active There any pubs that are dis active in this part of the country are the ones that allow in underage people? Better in here than out in the streets. That’s what I always say oi Oi, oh wait, you really crushed it tonight you wrote. I have a name. It’s Finbar yeah, damn. I’m so close. Er 30 pound Level two baby. Yes. Okay. Look good for my other jobs, okay Will do alright I might be able to upgrade something now and I’m curious to know what I should be upgrading. Nice thing about this though Is that I don’t have to feed anybody Meat middle Erina look out for Vic. Love I Might look out for malaria Am I supposed to do that today? Parents our automated message follows you reach the balancer level two clicker version to enjoy rust-free clicking congratulations. Check bands are up great. Okay Thank you thankyouu Ok, it’s just the clicker oh Ok, I thought I had to like spend something to get them So this is level 1 level 2 I get this at level 3 and level 4 When do my guest list upgrade though? I’m level 2 I Don’t know. I guess I’ll figure it out later on. But for now, I’m gonna leave this episode here. This game is really good I like it a lot. It’s good to be back in the papers. Please type of scenario I missed it I miss I missed the panic I Missed the freaking out of somebody giving you or your ID in your like I know what to do And I’ve done this a thousand times, but for some reason my brain is hard right now and I can’t do it anymore. Oh So good. Anyway, thank you guys so much watching this episode if you liked it punch that like button in the face Who are you boys and boys? All right Thank you, see you dudes All right, you want to get in show me your ID it hurts my neck

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