M.Gorky Film Studio In the year umpteenth, in plain words,
well before our time, there ruled over his realm,
the 39th in his line, Yeremey the Bearded,
a czar thrifty and mercantile. And to Yeremey once it occurred that the way he ruled is right not. He decided for the sake of truth: everything should be checked,
audited and proved. – How many wax candles?
– One hundred and forty-two. – And candle ends?
– 97 pounds 13 ounces. – Windows?
– All counted! Keep on counting! – Itemize! Name each item!
– Name each item! Itemize! – Thrones!
– Thrones! – Name and number!
– Number and name! – Two throninas.
– Two throninas! You highbrow! “Throne” is masculine. I see it this way.
A czar’s throne is masculine. But Czarina is a woman. Therefore, a czarina’s throne is
feminine. Controversial, but logical.
I agree. Write it down: one throne and
one thronina. One thronina and one throne. We’ve taken inventory: the palace,
thrones, windows, chairs, etc. Let’s look outside. Follow me! – What about the ink?
– Roll out the ink! – Did you load the quill pens?
– The quill pens. Did you load? The quill pens’ll go on their own. – And the parchment?
– The parchment? Where are you going, Yeremushka? Stupid woman. It’s not a czar’s business! Long hair, short brain. That’s exactly the czar’s business. – Not the czar’s business!
– It is! It is not… – Have the stairs been counted?
– They’ve been counted! How many steps? – Count them again!
– Count them again! How many? Eight. BARBARA THE FAIR
WITH THE SILKEN HAIR Written by M. CHUPRIN
with A. ROW Directed by Alexander ROW Director of Photography
D. SURENSKY Production Designers
A.KLOPOTOVSKY, A.IVASCHENKO Music by A. FILIPPENKO
Sound Supervisor – A. DIKAN English subtitles by
Tatiana KAMENEVA Starring Yeremey, czar – M. PUGOVKIN Chudo Yudo, another czar –
G. MILLYAR Aphonia, cleric – A. KUBATSKY
Praskovya, his wife – L.KOROLYOVA Andrey, fisherman’s son – A.KATYSHEV
Andrey, czar’s son – S.NIKOLAEV Barbara the Fair – T.KLIUYEVA
Stepanida, nanny – V.POPOVA Most authentic pirates: A. KHVYLIA, L. POTYOMKIN,
A. TSINMAN, I. LEONGAROV Suitors, their own matchmakers:
B.SICHKIN, I.BAIDA, R.YURIEV Fishwife – V. ANANYINA
Malanya, czarina – V. PETROVA Happy old fairy – V.ALTAISKAYA
Wet nurse – Ye. KUZIURINA Whole year Yeremey
kept his count and check. He exhausted his clerks
he himself got well fagged. Itemized he all mushrooms,
every tree in the woods, all the freckles on faces
of little children and dudes. All the ink being used,
he sighed with relief and decided to venture
back home, in brief. But the road back home
was a long way at best, Yeremey then decided
to take a good rest. To use up a whole barrel of ink! And to think of all the cattle
that had gone for the parchment! – You mean the sheep?
– Yeah, the sheep. And what about the goose quills
that we’ve destroyed! I’m so thirsty
and out of patience! Patience is a virtue, my Czar. I would give anything for a soda! You expect to find
bottled soda here? It’s the wilderness on and on… Our path is very long… Let me go! Not without a ransom. What kind of ransom do you want? Give me your land czar’s
word of honor that you’ll give me whatever
is unknown to you in your realm. Whatever is unknown to me
in my realm? I swear by my czar’s word
of honor. Father Czar! Remember! I have your czar’s word of honor. I have nothing to fear. There isn’t one object
that hasn’t been listed. I know everything in my realm. Welcome back!
We’ve got happy news! A great blessing! An heir to the throne is born! Andrey Yeremeyevich! That’s it! The only thing in my kingdom
unknown to me. What’s wrong with him? He fainted! – Why?
– He’s overjoyed! He’s overwhelmed! Every blade of grass,
I’ve counted everything. And yet I miscalculated! It’s not the czar’s spirit
to succumb to low spirits. – No one around?
– No one! It’s not misfortune that grill,
it’s low spirits that kill! How can I help it? I have to give up my own child! Just don’t give it. I can’t retract the czar’s word! Don’t retract it,
just overtrick it. How can I cheat
Chudo Yudo the Lawless? The way you cheated others. – No one around?
– No one! I just had a great idea… A little trick
that just occurred to me. You’ll hide your son
in the home of strangers and pass another boy off
as your son, the Czarevich! – How come?
– Just like that! The other boy will live
in your palace until claimed. And when he is claimed,
he’ll be given to Chudo Yudo and your son’ll be brought back. Smart. Do it! Lullaby, lullaby,
let the slumber come you by, Lullaby, lullaby,
go to sleep, you must try. Slumber, come to us, amen. Put to sleep all fishermen. Lullaby, lullaby,
go to sleep, you must try. All the fishes went to sleep, Hiding underwater deep… Our greetings to the new mama,
and our best wishes. – What did you call your child?
– Andrey is his name. Andriushenka! Lovely name. – And his father’s name?
– Yelesey. What a coincidence! Andrey
Yeleseyevich, Andrey Yeremeyevich. – What?
– Nothing. Perfect name! – Your husband’s not in?
– He’s a fisherman. A great blessing has just
descended upon your home. Go to your husband at once and tell him that the Czar asks
for fresh fish. Who’s going to take care of my son? My wife will. Praskovya, come in!
Take good care of the baby. And you hurry up!
Get your husband. Do it at once! Oh God, what shall I do? So far, so good. This is a great sin! – Did you manage alright?
– Don’t be angry, Aphonia! Keep quiet, silly woman! How can we take a child
from his own mother? We can, if we’re careful. Take the Czar’s son. Gently! What’s the matter with you?
Take the Czarevich out! – I just wanted…
– Do as you’re told! Well, Andrey Eleseyevich… Come here, into the basket. And Andrey Yeremeyevich goes
into your crib. Now everything is perfect. Those women!
They can’t get anything done! Come on, little fellow, let’s go to the palace. Don’t just stand there! Come on! Look at what’s going on:
Dawn is just about to dawn. The Czarina’s sound asleep,
but her baby’s not in his crib. Nurses ordered to be nigh,
to keep on him a watchful eye. Why then all the nurses sleep,
giving snores, hearty and deep? Because Aphonia had a notion
to give’m all a sleeping potion. – Is she still asleep?
– Sound asleep. – How did it go with you?
– Everything’s under control. Our trick was a success. Suppose she guesses? It’s unlikely.
After all, a baby is a baby. There’s a resemblance. All babies look alike. And what about
a mother’s intuition? Rubbish. There is no such thing
as a mother’s intuition. The women invented it
to look more important. Don’t you worry. Scat! The heir has been kidnapped! Bye, Baby Bunting,
Daddy’s gone a-hunting, to get a little rabbit skin
to wrap his little baby in. Your mama was so frightened!
You weren’t in the crib. And it was our father Czar
missing his little Czarevich! Our future Czar! What is that birthmark? Now her mother’s heart
is going to tell her. It’s just a fish scale.
Come to mama, darling. – It didn’t tell her.
– It didn’t. Our little future Czar! Time flies like lightning,
we know it well. You may believe it or you may not, But since our Czar had that drink
from the well there have passed 18 years,
no less, no more. You’re really good at it, Andrey! It’s biting! Pull it in! Blast! Got away again! You’ll never be a fisherman,
father Czar. – Who am I?
– Chudo Yudo the Lawless! The mud-green grand-duke of all the lake bottoms. – And what else?
– Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera… You should’ve started
with et cetera. – We apologize.
– And who are you? We’re the Czar’s pirates, pirates,
pirates. We’re bold bandits, bandits, ho-ho! We’re all bullies, bullies, bullies, We’re fierce as bulldogs,
bulldogs, ho-ho! Whoever ever meets us – …will be unbooted…
– … and looted. Then he’ll again be booted and hooted by our song! We’ll steer our schooner
without any maps, And to the Treasure Island
we’ll sail one day, perhaps. – Perhaps…
– Perhaps… Will sail, perhaps. Sing you do well. But where’s the beauty?
There’s no beauty. Where’s the magic carpet? There’s no magic carpet. The suitors will look and say:
Can it be Chudo Yudo’s palace? It’s a shack without
a single work of art. Go! – Where to?
– To the headchoppers! And don’t you dare come back
with your heads on your shoulders! Throw the thread over this finger
and hold it with this one. And put the needle through here. That’s exactly how I do it,
but it doesn’t come out right. Keep trying. Help us, Princess! Your father sent us
to the headchoppers again! – Why did he get angry with you?
– Because of beauty! – For your suitors…
– he demands a magic carpet. I’ve got no time for this! All right, stop bawling!
I’ll help you! How nice! A beauty!
Let’s roll it up and off we go! Wait till Chudo Yudo sees it! C’est si bon! But what I want
is to learn how to knit. Why in water d’you want it
when you know magic? I don’t want magic. I want it for real,
to be like ordinary humans. You need a lot of patience
for that, my child. – Nanny!
– What is it, Barbara? Did you have suitors? I had one… Was he a magician? He was just a farmhand. We were crazy about each other.
Vassya was his name. I remember we were out
walking in the woods. A wide path we walked,
but we got close to each other, as if the path was narrow. And there were a lot of
mushrooms around us. But we didn’t care to pick any. – Why not?
– We were happy just walking. Suddenly Vassya said:
“Stepanida, my darling.” See, people have everything better
than we, the magicians, do. When our mistress found out
about our love, she got angry. She sent Vassya to war
and locked me in a dark cellar. You should’ve changed into a dove
and flied to Vassya. It’s only in your subterranean
realm that you can use magic. On earth, magic is worse
than robbery. You can’t use magic? Vassya was struck by a cannon-ball
in his first battle. And he was killed? Desperate, I went to the river
and drowned myself. See what love does? – Love?
– Love. From every stinking swamp
and marsh, from every underwater cave
they rush – the suitors,
their own matchmakers, are here before Chudo Yudo to appear and ask for his daughter’s hand. First suitor! Ali Hussein!
Spewing water like rain! He breathes it, he drinks it! Ten gallons, frogs and all! – I don’t wanna!
– What don’t you wanna? – Neither water, nor frogs!
– I. – What about fishes?
– Oh, papa! Next! This suitor can read people’s minds at a distance of any number
of miles. Did he drop dead? He’s coming to. Welcome back! All right! Read her mind! Why did he do that? He did read my mind! Next! This suitor’s a wizard, and blond! – Blond?
– Whatever. Who cares? Greetings to you and bonjour! So you’re a foreigner. By birth, I’m from here, by education, I’m from there. Where did you graduate from? From an overseas school of
prestidigitation. What does it mean? They call it prestidigitation, we call it sleight of foot and hypnosis. How long did you study
at that overseas school? Two years and a month. Two years I spent learning
to say the word “prestidigitation”. And a whole month I studied
hypnosis. Shoot, show the thing. Accept my Guten Morgen. Merci. First I’ll utter the magic words
“eins, zwei, drei” which mean, if translated,
“one, two, three, four”. Then I’ll look the Princess
in the eye, and that will be all it takes
for her to tell you that I’m her fiance. Slight of hand and nimble
working will amount to… A turkey! – Next!
– That’s it! – What d’you mean?
– We ran out of suitors. Out of my sight, unruly daughter! All of you, out of my throne cave! Come back, unruly daughter! No, alone! Mind your father. You think I invited those suitors
for my own pleasure? And what suitors!
Thoroughbred magicians! I’m thoroughly sick of
your thoroughbred magicians! What kind of suitor
dou you want, then? A plain suitor,
like those on earth. What? On earth?
I didn’t hear that. My dream is like this:
We’re on a path in the woods… – And who’s “we”?
– He and I. The path is wide, but we walk
as if it’s very narrow. There’re mushrooms all around,
yet we’re not picking them. Suddenly he says:
“My darling little dove!” What d’you know!
All the mushrooms! – Were there any flap mushrooms?
– I think so. Wait. There’s a land-lubber czar
who has owed me a debt. Hang on, father Czar,
I’m going to help my father. Don’t be sad, I’ll be right back.
I’ll make a fisherman out of you. – Andrey!
– Coming, papa! If you only knew who your papa is. You’re my flesh and blood. Your debt! The debt… Bye, Baby Bunting.
Daddy’s gone a-hunting! To get a little rabbit skin
to wrap his little baby in. Eat porridge hot. Eat porridge cold. Eat porridge in the pot Nine days old! Sprinkle it with rose and lavender
essence for good smell. The Czar will come back
and want to wash his white hands. Scat! Bad news! Chudo Yudo
pointed his finger at me. Demons, demons, away! You must have been seeing things. I’ve waited for this for years.
Perhaps, I’ve had a vision. You’ve sure had!
Calm down and wash your hands. Your debt! I guess that’s it! What do we do now? We shouldn’t let the little trick
we played go to waste. It’s time you gave this oaf
to Chudo Yudo. What if the oaf refuses? I’ll set a trap
that he’s sure to accept. Do it! There’ll be expenses. We’ll need
four pounds of salted pork, half a dozen herring and a lot of pickled cucumbers. Do it! I’m thirsty! I’m dying of thirst! Bad luck! I forgot to take the water along. – You forgot?
– I forgot. Just you wait! The old man
will die some day soon. Then I’ll have you drawn
and quartered, Aphonia! – Don’t be angry, Czarevich.
– I’m thirsty! There’s a well not far from here. – Where?
– Right over there… What did I tell you?
He couldn’t wait to go. You’re a sly fox!
Great pickles! With horseradish! – Where are you going?
– To help him a little bit. Smart fellow! Nice cold water. – Pushed him a little?
– Pushed him plenty. Not a nice thing to do, is it? A miracle! I came out of the water
all dry. A three-hundred pounder! You dare laugh at me,
the Czarevich? Nasty fat boy! Mama! Help! Nannies! Stop yelling!
Stop screaming! – Who are you?
– A happy fairy from the stump. Are you making fun of me? You’re only a guest here,
don’t you forget that! Under water, do
as the underwaterites do! Stop dancing!
Tell me what’s going on. – Why am I here?
– Blame your father’s beard. My father’s beard? Nanny! You little rascal! Oh Nanny! Oh dear! What’s wrong, child? Did anyone hurt you,
my little treasure? A bad stranger who is so fat! There, there, my sweet baby! So after 18 years
Czar Yeremey had to send you here
to pay an old debt. Let him just wait! I’ll tell mama! Don’t shout! Here’s my advice,
Czarevich young and nice. Go to Chudo Yudo straight
and bow before him, the great! And where do I find your…
Chudo Yudo? You’ll go straight
till you come to a glade. Stamp your foot three times
clap your hands twice and whistle. – How?
– Like this. If you can’t do it like this,
a poorer whistle will do. A strange creature will appear
when you whistle. He has ears like a hare,
eyes, I don’t know from where, a lion’s tale,
though not of the male. He will take you to the ferry,
there you yell for the ferrymen. Yes, and then? They’re waiting for you
on the other side. – Who?
– That’s a surprise! Not so fast there! What now? You’ve got to take a carrot along. It’s for the strange creature. And a pot of honey. For those who’ll ferry you across. Where’s his “thank you”?
Well fed, but ill bred. Give me some! – Beat it!
– You glutton! Come on, don’t fear!
But give some honey to the bear. See the honey? Go on faster! Smells nice, must be linden
blossom. – I bet it tastes good.
– It makes my mouth water. Leave some for me! – You’ll manage without!
– You’re not nice! You’re a stingy slob! He ate up all the honey! Welcome! – We were waiting for you!
– Impatiently! Who are you? – Marquis de la Cat!
– Grand Duke de la Buzzard! – Baron de la Swine!
– Vicomte de Bulldog! He is nice and fat!
Nice and plump! I don’t like to be tickled! You look good there. Give him the scepter and the globe. Wrong! The ball in the left,
and the stick in the right hand. When I’m no more, you will govern my kingdom
instead of me. Father Czar, what have you done
to your Czarevich? Tell him. – He is not the Czarevich.
– He is the fisherman’s son. That’s why we gave him
to Chudo Yudo instead of you. Instead of me?
No! What have you done! Nothing to worry about. A czar can’t worry about everybody,
he’s got to think of his kingdom. You’ve learned to sit on the throne,
now learn how to give orders. Go ahead, give an order. Alright, Aphonia, saddle a horse
and bring it to the front door. Now! Hold it! Where are you going? Wait, sonny! What are you doing? – Oh, too bad!
– Too bad! You must take a carrot
for the strange creature and some honey for those
who will ferry you across. Thank you, happy old fairy. Not well fed, and yet well bred. And who are you? I’m Czarevich Andrey,
Czar Yeremey’s son! Show us your profile! Now the other profile! How about the rear view? – Nice!
– Plump! – Well-fed!
– And fat! Nothing but shortcake
and cream and honey! That’s the one who shot at me
with his sling. – Can you do tricks?
– Not proper for a czar’s son. – Can you solve riddles?
– That’d be the last straw. Can you do anything? Since I’m a czar’s son,
I can’t do a thing. – I’m not expected to.
– Is that so? Why do you ask? I just figured you might
marry my daughter. Your daughter? I could
if you give her a decent dowry. What sort of miracle can I do
to make him give me up? No one would give up
a beauty like you. Is your daughter good-looking? – The spitting image of me.
– Your spitting image? – What’s got into him?
– He’s plump… – But nervous.
– And feeble. – How much is the dowry?
– Like all czars’ dowries. – Be more exact.
– Half the kingdom. – Take it!
– What about 60 percent? I have thought of a riddle that can be solved only by a man
who is passionate and pure. – Like your Vassya.
– Like my Vassya? Nanny! Nanny, darling… Have a taste of this carrot,
you strange creature. – Is it a deal?
– A deal! Bar-bar-bar-barbara! What sort of miracle is it? What a mischievous child! This is Andrey,
son of the Land Czar Yeremey. Guess which one is your bride? If you’re wrong,
we’ll cut off your head! – Cut off my head?
– That’s the custom. Mama! Which one is my daughter? The first try! – Have a taste of honey.
– Thank you! It’s delicious, buddy! Bruin, don’t eat it all up!
Leave some for me! Enjoy! It’s all yours! – Goodbye!
– Good luck! Second try! Failed again! Third try! Mama! Hey, headsman! Chop his head off! – Stop it!
– Who is that with no manners? – It won’t help to execute him!
– That’s what I say. – Cut mine off instead!
– Right! His is better! – By the way, who are you?
– I’m Czarevich Andrey! – The son of Czar Yeremey!
– Which one? – The elder or the younger son?
– Neither. Whose son is he, then? A fisherman’s son. He’s lying! I’m the Czarevich! He is a pretender!
I also have a head on my shoulders. Don’t worry,
you’re going to lose it. Don’t be in a hurry, Chudo Yudo! He doesn’t know that he and I
were exchanged. – What?
– Who was exchanged? What was exchanged?
Where and when was who exchanged? – When we were babies.
– Why? To keep me on land,
away from your hand. What a cheat! Headsman, give him the axe! – Father, why him?
– Instead of me. If it’s instead of you,
let him guess the riddle, too. This is fair.
I don’t mind. If you guess right
which one is my daughter… I don’t even have to guess. You don’t? First try! – Here she is!
– He guessed right. – Made it on the first try!
– He’s a real suitor! How did you do it?
There were six of us. I never even saw the others.
You’re the only one for me. The only one? The only one, my darling dove. My darling dove. Why are you growling,
you hornless billygoat? – Who?
– All right, Your Lawlessness. – What are we going to do?
– Let them marry and go on land. – No way!
– You gave your word, old goat! I gave it, I took it back! On land? To earthlings? Pfoo! Nanny, I have an awful feeling
they want to harm Andrey. Nanny, darling. Chudo Yudo, on his birthday,
was awarded a cake of clay. Birthday cake, birthday cake,
bottoms up and merry-make! Birthday, on one hand,
name day, on the other. Noble underwater lords,
shall I sing for you? – We beg you to…
– A little song. About what? About love. – About love? Again?
– Please! Granny did love her arbitrary
goat. Granny did love… – What?
– Her arbitrary goat. One-two, one-two,
her arbitrary goat! – That’s some cake!
– You’re very trusting old man. You trust a man you hardly know
with such an important thing. – What’s so important?
– Tying a bib around your neck. – So what?
– He could tie it a bit too tight. Be careful what you say, Czarevich! Fear not the one who talks
without thinking, but the one who thinks
without talking. Who do you mean? I wouldn’t want to slander
good folks, Your Lawlessness. I order you to slander them! – Let them stop up their ears.
– Stop up your ears! The fiance Your Lawlessness’
daughter has chosen… Is plotting? Is plotting to take the whole
underwater kingdom from you. So what? – And to take Barbara on land.
– What? Bar-bar-barbara? I’m not going to let him! We’re in trouble! – Barbara!
– They want to harm you! That way! Oh, handsome Czarevich,
come on out for a second. – Show up!
– Be so kind! Be condescending, talk to
your humble servants! Andrey, dear friend! – Where are they?
– They must be at your daughter’s. Forward march! Barbara the Fair!
Andrey the Handsome! Allow me to kiss you. No, I can’t allow it
till we’re married. – They just can’t stop!
– Billing and cooing! Just on the cheek now!
After we’re married! Board and scuttle them! Where are they? This wise daughter of mine
has made a jellyfish out of me! She eloped with him,
leaving behind their voices. What are you waiting for? Charge! Saddle my thoroughbred steeds,
my aristocratic steeds, the jet-fastest steeds
in the stables of all bottomwater! They’re after us! Follow me! Looks like they’ve gone
underground. We’re already underground.
They can’t go any farther down. Did you see anybody
or anything along your way? I saw two lilac-colored
rabbits grazing. – Lilac-colored rabbits?
– That’s right. You’ve got as much brains
as a lilac bush! Go back! After those lilac rabbits! Forward!
Back for the lilac rabbits! – The ferry boat!
– Come on! Halt! Stay where you are!
Bruin, full steam ahead! Aye, aye! Full steam ahead! Surrender! Come back!
Or you’re going to be sorry! Get out of sight! We’ll huff, we’ll puff
and blow you behind the mountain! You’ll turn and turn
till the waters dry up! – Come back!
– Farewell, father! You unruly daughter… Dive right in,
noble lords! Am I tired! – Thank you, Bruin!
– Thanks a million! – An anchovy!
– A sprat! – A sardine!
– A shark! A whale! Follow them! – What is it, my love?
– I can’t walk, it hurts. – Don’t dare come up!
– Nobody can help us anymore. I can! What makes you so sad,
you hornless old goat? Today is my birthday. Then let’s celebrate. Dilly-dong, dilly-dong,
we will take a cat along… My head is spinning.
I’m going to drop. You’re getting too excited now,
I’m ordering you to bow down! It’s not proper for a czar’s son
to bow down. – Bow down!
– I’m not going to! Don’t turn around like that! I’ll turn all I like! All right then, turn! I’ll whirl all I want! Will miracles never cease? – Why?
– My conscience’s killing me! – Forget it!
– I’ll save at least one of them! – How are you going to do it?
– I’ll go to Chudo Yudo! I’ll tell him what you don’t
even know! What is it that I don’t know? Praskovya, don’t!
Wait, Praskovya! Good people! I’ll tell
the whole story! Have mercy on the poor widower! Let go, accursed dog! Forgive him. Come on, forgive him. What’s this? Who were you beating?
He’s the son of our father Czar. Andrey Yeremeyevich,
the heir to the throne. Am I seeing a ghost? Of course it’s Andrey! Only he’s not the son of our Czar,
he’s a plain son of the people. And this boy here is
the Czar’s son! This one is of the people.
And that one is the Czar’s son! Have you gone crazy? Bow before him, doubt not.
I’ll tell you what happened. Good people, forgive me,
the sinner! – He’s grown pale!
– He’s grown thin! For Andrey’s another birthday,
We had a cake from here to yonder! This much high! This much wide! This much long! Birthday cake, birthday cake,
Whom you love the choice you make! I admit I love you all, But Andrey, my darling son,
best of all! So we had a happy end. There’s nothing more to add. Save to bid you all goodbye
and to thank you for standing by. As they say, that is that,
our tale has come to The End